Cool.

I mean, other RPers can also give an input- as I said, it's provisional, the main comment would be to keep on building on it- take your time with it, the better developed it is, the better you'll grasp the RP and the contents within, with a character that you feel prepared to play. It's little details that add up to make a bigger picture- and as you might have seen with others, there's a lot to take on board, though of course, it's a start what you have there.