[color=#b63564][i][h1]Miyasaki Ami--[/h1][/i][/color] Ami awoke from her sleep, staring up at the sky and slowly getting up as she shoving her blanket back inside of her duffle bag. She could feel the eyes of a pervert on her but continued to walk slowly, widening her eyes in order to improve her own mood. Soon, she headed over to the bus stop, it was time for her to head over to her new apartment. The bus ride was comfortable but there was a couple silently quarreling near the back, assuming that they were being subtle. She didn’t have time to be listening to this nonsense. Any other time of the day and she would have gladly tried to lift their mood as well as the rest of the passengers who were obviously disturbed but she was [i]not[/i] in the mood. Once the ride was over, Ami stood up and quickly grabbed her bag, dragging her feet on sidewalk. Once she got to the apartment, she scrambled through her bag in search for the keys that Anthony had given her, finding it after 3 minutes. She sighed, stepping inside of the apartment. [color=f6989d]“I’m home.”[/color] she said cheerfully, not expecting anyone to respond but simply trying to make herself feel more welcome in the place. Stepping into her room, she put her stuff down and sat on the bed. After a while, she noticed that tears were falling down her eyes now. [color=f6989d]“O-oh no… What are you doing?”[/color] chuckling as she wiped the disgusting tears off of her as fast as she could. She was doing horrible so far. It had been the first time she cried but she did last around 4 weeks. Stressed, confused, tired. Homes were meant to hide things. Hide secrets. That's why I don't want a home. I have secrets that I don't want to share. But I also don't want to acknowledge that I have them. -flashback- [color=pink] “Daddy! Daddy!! Look!! I found this upstairs in the basement!!!”[/color] Ami was showing her father a glass sculpture that was covered in dust and shaped as an adorable deer. It was a bad time. Her mother was in her bed but she didn’t looked fine. She was bleeding, no clothes on as she whimpered. Ami’s smile turned into a look of horror as she turned back to her father. No, it was a demon. [color=pink] “M-Mommy!! D-Daddy, mommy isn’t fine… MOMMY ISN’T FINE!!”[/color] Her father turned his head towards her, slowly as he walked over to her, grabbing the glass sculpture in one hand and Ami’s throat in the other. [b]”Does it [i]look[/i] like I give a fuck?![b] With that, he threw her onto the ground and Ami began to bawl, not understanding why he was doing this. Ami ran towards him, grabbing his leg and begging him to stop hitting mother. Her father looked down at her, a look of disgust that had Ami froze, gulping down her saliva as tears filled her mouth. He began hitting her. As if he was replacing her mother with Ami as mother scrambled away, disappearing for the night. After a while, Ami’s eyes narrowed. Her once lively eyes were...dead. Tears were gone and her lips formed a small smile as she loosened her grip on the arms that were covering her head as if there was an earthquake. Ehehe, might as well get used to this. -end of flashback- Ahahaha, that’s right… I’m disgusting. She smiled as she looked up at the ceiling. She hadn’t turned on the lights and the small windows had the blinds closed. Barely any light filling the room. Ami scratched at her wrist until blood formed, pouring down her arm. She watched it drop onto her dress, making sure that she didn’t ruin the bed. tasting the disgusting saltwater tears as they fell. Disgusting. One of her favorite words that was almost always aimed at herself. --- After a while, she stood up and headed into the shower room with an extra outfit and a clean towel. Stripping herself of her shirt and pants and looking at herself in the mirror as she set down her necessities. All she saw was a girl. A girl that enjoyed pain. A masochist. pleasure in being abused or dominated : a taste for suffering. Was that it? She deserved it. She needed to be punished because… [b]“You weren’t even supposed to be born you fucking bastard!”[/b] The screams were echoing through her mind now. The voices of her parents. The voices of the girls that had bullied her. No. No. Ami shook her head, grabbing her ears and looking at the mirror. [color=f6989d]“I’m happy. I’m happy. I’m happy. I had a good childhood.”[/color] Filling herself with delusions as she quickly ran out of the bathroom and back into her room. Soon, she had her pills in one hand and a half full water bottle in the other. Shoving 5 pills into her mouth, far more than the prescripted amount.[color=f6989d] “I’m happy…” [/color]her voice was now shaking, the pills now most likely inside of her bloodstream. Let me be happy… Please? “No.” - She had taken the shower. After at least an hour of running hot water on herself and her back was now red. However, it was a cold day so she could simply cover it with a shirt or a sweater. She stepped out of the shower drenched as her wet hair sent shivers down her spine. It was about time for her to get going. Looking into the mirror, Ami smiled brightly. You’re alright, aren’t you! Almost demanding herself to agree as she smacked her cheeks and stepped into a pair of black sweats. They were extremely plain and she was thinking of maybe going to get a workout. Of course, her eyes had severe bags under them and were red, glistening from still being teary. Ami sighed, placing her bra on as well as a crop top. [hider=Crop top] [img]http://www.oznurfashion.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/crop-top-9.jpg[/img] [/hider] They were obviously meant for someone with a smaller chest but it was simply meant for her to wear when she was alone. The fabric was wonderful and made her feel devine. A cute pairing with the plain black sweats. She would later put on a new tank top and add her jacket to it when she went out. Her wrists were still bleeding a bit and the scarring was much worse. TRASH was the worst which was accompanied by many other scars made by herself her father. Hopefully no one was coming home right now because the way it was looking. It didn’t look good. She didn’t really wear make up and wondered why people still complimented but for sure today would be the day she would need concealer. Hopefully she had some. Cleaning up the bathroom and removing all of her things so that they didn’t come home to see that she had taken over. Ami sighed, she honestly looked like the dead at the moment. Her wet hair was still dripping onto her crop top due to the fact that she preferred to let it air dry. I guess i’ll just clean up… She searched for anything to clean and got to work. Finishing up a lot. I think I can get changed before they get back… Hopefully. With that, she continued to clean and disregarded the pain that she had inflicted onto herself. [/hider]