The show had all gone according to plan, and with each evening and each show becoming even more fluid and comfortable than the last. It reminded Rob of a word his first boss had used; working as a sandwich maker as a summer job. [i]Synergy.[/i] Connecting with others. Loosing the self to gain the whole. But, really, it was the truth. It was how Rob was beginning to feel on stage. Each intricacy of Austin’s bass. Each flare of Sam’s guitar.

Each note of Jane’s melodies. It all rang together perfectly. 

And once it had ended, Austin had caught up with him as they moved to dismantle the stage.

“Killer show, Rob,” Austin said. His voice rang higher than Rob had once remembered it. He was cheerier than his usual self. He had been for a few days. “I like that little fill you threw in towards the end of Speechless. You never improvise on stage.”

Rob smiled. Anytime someone talked about that old B-side of theres they played made him happy. It had been, and probably always would be, his favorite track they had made. “I dunno. It just felt right.”

“Look, whatever happened between you and Jane—“ Austin started, but cut himself off as soon as he caught Rob’s glare, “…nevermind. Look. I’m just glad I feel like I’m talking to you. Rob. Not…whatever you put on usually.”

“Thanks,” Rob said, dripping with sarcasm, “I’m glad I please you.” 

Austin punched him softly as they loaded up the car, seeing Jane coming in near the same time. She looked…off. It was funny, how before the rooftop conversation that had, Jane had seemed so herself and Rob felt off. Now…things had switched. It was as if there wasn’t a way for them both to be satisfied. Both to be happy. 

Thinking of these things reminded Rob of how easy it wouldn’t been to dwell on what was going on between Jane. The silence that remained between them could fester up. As of now Rob felt good about what it was, but he was still riding the high of his feelings; enjoying the euphoria of finally speaking his mind. Knowing sometime soon Jane and Rob would finally talk things out. But with each passing moment these things didn’t happen, the high would recede, and someday soon, he’d be the one with the hangover. 

It weighed on his mind as they returned, but strengthened as Jane hastily made a retreat:

[i]”We, uh, we don't have to hang out tonight if you're tired,”[/i] her voice came, soft to him. Before he could respond, she was gone yet again, not waiting for a response. Not hearing what he had to say. He felt a tinge of anger dwell up inside him. [i]I told you how I feel. I was open and honest. And this is how you repay me? More running? More silence?[/i] 

Rob tried to shake the feeling off, but when he entered his room, all he could think of was Jane. 

Now that his mind was open to the idea, he knew how attractive he found her. She was the opposite of the people most would go for, but it wasn’t to say she wasn’t attractive. She was beautiful. But her free spirit, her tangled locks and constant bare feet, her wild side…these were all things most guys he knew steered away from. They wanted the constant girl. The one with the B.S. going to grad school. The cute brunette with the big tits and love of beer. There was a distinction to be made, and a lot of men made it like this: [i]The cool girl. Not the wild one.[/i]

Maybe that’s what drove him to her in the first place. Some sort of self-destructive tendency to want what he can’t have.

Self-fulfilling prophecy. 

But…he could fight against it. 

It had to be instinctual. Not thought out. Honest. Any other way would’ve just been lying to himself.

So, Rob sat up from his bed he had been laying on for hours, and made his way over to the desk in his room. Grabbing a pen, he made sure to write clearly and legibly, before moving back out of the room with both his main and spare key. 

He made his way to Jane’s room, and slipped the spare key under the door along with the note: 

[i]I don’t bite! Come by if the room bores you sometime. -R[/i]

Satisfied with at least making the effort, Rob went back to his room, trying very hard to have no real expectations. After a quick shower, Rob threw on the news for a few minutes, before becoming sufficiently tired enough to doze off. If he had tried to sleep in silence, lord knows…

He would’ve been up all night thinking.