Jane had been sitting on the floor against the wall with a notebook and her bottle of whiskey for a while now, trying to come up with something decent. She knew the pressure would be on after the tour to write music, and being creative was never usually a challenge, but she was displeased with all that she wrote. The sound of something gliding across the carpet extracted her from her deep focus and startled her slightly. A note. And a key card.

After rising slowly, she picked up the note and fought a smile as she read it, holding the key in her hand. Rob could obviously sense her hesitation, but he was trying like just she had always desired. She ran over to the small table near the window, rolled a joint quickly as if it took no thought, and left her room to find his.

She paused in front of the gold-painted door and squeezed her eyes shut. What was waiting behind it was a mystery. Jane didn’t know what would happen or where their conversations would lead, but she couldn’t run from it forever. That she knew. The dream of never having to work through what happened between them wasn’t realistic. It wasn’t right either. 

A deep breath later, the key card was entered. Beep, click, green blinking light. She slowly opened the door to see Rob asleep on of the two beds in the room, in a position as if drifting off wasn’t his plan. Jane smiled and quietly crept towards the bed and sat at the edge, not disturbing him, and as she watched him momentarily, she mustered up all the courage she could and moved towards him, wiggling her body up next to his.

“Hey,” she whispered. “Hey, Rob. Wake up.” A hand patted his chest until he began to stir. Instead of getting up, she laid on him for a moment, hand still on his chest, as if to soak up whatever she could before they had to speak. He seemed to approve for now, and Jane was allowed to lay there for a few minutes in silence. It calmed her. It made her question what she was so afraid to talk about. Rob was her best friend. She could always talk to him. 

Jane sat up, turned her body, and sat crisscross to look at him, but her eyes, for now, remained on the nail her fingers were picking at. “Rob…” she started, deciding how to choose her words, “I, uh, I didn’t mean to leave you hanging the other night. I,” she paused for a moment and moved her eyes up to his, “I really appreciate you being honest with me. I know I pushed you to a point to where you didn’t really have a choice, but,” she laughed and looked away again. Her voice was quiet and hoarse, as if a gentle tone would somehow make it easier on the both of them. “You’re so funny, smart, talented, attractive, caring… You deserve someone who’s gonna take care of you. Someone who wants to settle down one day. Have kids. Do adult shit.” A frown made it's way across her mouth. “You know that’s not me. It never was. Probably never will be. And that's why I can’t wrap my brain around why you feel about me the way you do.” 

She ran her fingers through her hair before meeting Rob’s gaze and sighed, tilting her head slightly to the side. It was hard to read how he was feeling. “I love you so much, Rob. I do. You’ve been my best friend for years. You’ve always been there for me. I never want that to change. I… I’m just worried that if we, you know,  [i]explore things[/i],” her voice trailed off as her eyes lingered on his lips for a moment.

[i] “Stop it, Jane,”[/i] she mentally disciplined herself, diverting her eyes back up to his once again. The dark orbs did not show a hint of anger or disapproval as far as she could tell. 

“I don’t wanna break your heart. I don’t wanna hurt you. I would never want you to hate me. That would kill me. Its just – I hear that’s what I do, you know?” Jane chewed on her lip, a sign of being distraught. “I’m sorry it took me so long to say this. It was just a lot. I don’t know if these are new feelings for you or I’ve just been oblivious,” she admitted with a chuckle as she reached for the joint tucked behind her ear and lit it, releasing a large cloud into the air above them, and ultimately passing it to him.

Jane had to let him talk, too. She developed a habit of running away after saying how she felt. Never letting anyone hurt her with their words. But, she knew she couldn’t do that anymore. Not with Rob. He wasn’t going to hurt her. He wouldn't.