[b] “Thanks for being with me last night.”[/b] A coy expression accompanied by an understanding nod was all Jane replied with instead of saying everything she truly wanted to - [i]”Thanks for letting me.”[/i] [i]”Thanks for coming home to me and not sleeping at Mia’s.”[/i] [i]”Fuck the interview. Let’s just stay here.”[/i] Slowly but surely, the definitive dividing line that Jane had drawn between her and her emotions – the line that represented all of the reasons why telling Rob how she felt was an awful idea – was becoming blurred. Her mind was releasing all of her excuses one by one, and when she tried to recount them all, her memory failed her. Especially during mornings like this, when just moments ago, they were laying together in bed, both at their most vulnerable state. And as Rob finished his statement, Jane realized that she really didn’t care if he slept with Mia or not. He was in the dark in regards to her feelings, and she couldn’t expect him to stick around waiting for when she made up her mind. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- After exiting the building, Jane felt good about the interview as a whole, but she knew she would soon grow annoyed with being asked the most superficial questions compared to the others in the band. It was normal for women, she understood, but those were the types of stereotypes of girls in the music scene that she wanted to shatter. As her mind mulled over all of the events of the morning so far, she looked up to Rob who was a few feet ahead of her, and she quickened her pace to walk next to him. “Hope you’re feeling better than I am,” she laughed. “You, uh, I think you passed out the second you hit the bed. You were a perfect gentleman after that.” [i]”Well, besides in the morning,”[/i] she thought to herself. Her mind flashed to visions of how she woke up – his hand clutching her, what she felt behind her – which was nothing to be embarrassed about. But knowing Rob, he must have felt some sort of guilt as to how the night turned out. He never liked when Jane’s motherly instinct kicked in, possibly because it was so out of character, but she never minded taking care of him. It was a way for her to show how she felt without having to [i]talk[/i]. Her favorite way to show affection. They had entered the van that had been waiting for them on the street, and Jane took a seat next to Rob. “I’m gonna get brunch with Mia, then probably spend the rest of the day horizontal,” she explained as she rubbed the bridge of her nose, a part of where her headache was focused. It only took Jane five minutes to leave the hotel once again after they had gotten back. Her longboard carried her through the busy streets, and she flipped off everyone and anyone who honked or catcalled at her. Mia had been waiting for her at an outside table when Jane jumped off the board and plopped down across from her. “Hey,” Jane said as she caught her breath and removed the strands of hair from her face. She reached in her pocket and grabbed the bracelet Sam gave her and tossed it to Mia. “Did you fuck [i]Sam[/i] last night? I thought you were all ‘Team Rob.’” “I was,” Mia admitted as she stuffed the bracelet in her purse, “But he was [i]not[/i] ‘Team Mia.’ Half way through the night he began avoiding me like the plague.” Jane shot her a genuinely quizzical look. “Really? That’s weird.” “Well, it’s not [i]that[/i] weird,” Mia smirked. “You weren’t yourself last night. He wasn’t himself last night. I’m not an idiot; something’s brewing between you guys. I just wish you said something, girl. I would’ve laid off.” Jane shook her head. “Its, uh, its not like that, I – “ “Oh come on, Jane. Look, I don’t care if you lie to me, but don’t lie to yourself like that. Why don’t you tell him? He ingested enough drugs and alcohol to kill a horse last night – probably to mask whatever the hell he’s feeling about you.” Mia grabbed her hand and stared at her until Jane met her eyes. She sighed. “I know, I know. But, okay, listen – let’s say I tell him how I feel. That I wanna test the waters and see where it goes. What if I fuck up? What if I hook up with someone else, or-or I’m not what he wanted after all? We’re still stuck together for another month and a half in a fucking van. Shit, man, can you imagine how [i]weird[/i] that would be?” She rested her chin on both of her fists. “I don’t wanna lose my best friend if things don’t work out. If it were simpler than that, I woulda slept with him already.” Both of the girls laughed at the statement. “You’re way more daring than this, Jane,” Mia sighed as she squeezed her hand. “Since when are you scared of the consequences of anything you do?” Jane laughed. “You’re right. I’ll, uh, I’ll talk to him. Soon.” ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Once Jane arrived back to the hotel, she quickly ran into her room to change into a tank top and a pair of pajama shorts before plopping on the plush couch in the apartment’s living room and flipping mindlessly through the channels on the box-shaped TV. After settling for a cheesy, made-for-TV murder mystery, she lit a joint and blew the smoke towards the patio door, which was opened slightly to suck out the cloudy atmosphere that Jane was creating. Thoughts of having to get back on the road tomorrow filled her with both excitement and a sense of uneasiness. It was nice having the consistency of staying in a city for three days, but Jane knew soon enough, she’d grow restless as she did with everything and everyone else. After she was done smoking, Jane pulled the blanket up to her chin and forced her tired eyes to focus on the TV to keep her mind wandering from anywhere else. The hand that wasn’t gripping the blanket trailed the other arm up and down slowly, a habit she performed subconsciously as some sort of method for comforting herself. Eventually, though, her mind [i]did[/i] wander. How would she tell Rob how she felt? When would the perfect time be? Was there even a perfect time? No matter where they went or what they were doing, there was no real haven she could run to after she spilled her guts, her signature move. Instead, whatever course she decided to take, she would have to deal with the aftermath there and then. Nowhere to hide. She mumbled a curse to herself as she stared blankly at the screen.