When morning came, Jane had left. It was an expected event, but somewhere in him, he had to admit to himself that it had always stung. This time, however, he felt much more welcome; less like a man trespassing into a world he didn’t belong in, and more like a welcomed guest. How long he’d be welcomed, however, would be very difficult to say.

The next thought he had was the one of his own agency. What [i]had[/i] driven him to get into her bed last night? The days he had spent worrying and wandering were so recent, yet so far. And now he was being forward once more? He supposed that her acceptance of him had given him a new found confidence not formally found. Yet in the morning he felt reverted back to his usual self, as if the entity proud and confident had taken him in the night, yet left him in the morning as Jane had done.

There were things he had done (or rather hadn’t) out of respect for Jane’s denial? Now that that was gone? His libido was slowly claiming himself. 

Before he could further self-reflect, the door creaked open again. Jane’s body slipped back into the bed, back with him. Animalistic urges soared through Rob like never before; his mind had altered from his emotional attraction to Jane into the realm of the physical. 

His body nearly pulsed with her touch upon him.

[i]”I wish I was better at talking things out like you are”[/i] her voice came. The soft reverberations of her voice drove him wild, sending soft vibrations into him. She nuzzled against him, and every bone in his body chanted [i]more, more.[/i]

“I wish I was better at understanding myself,” he said. He envied her impulses; her honestly in physicality. Now, with her and her permission, he wondered if he ever would be so honest with her. 

His arms wrapped around her, and he bent down, placing a kiss upon the top of her hair, longing. Somewhere in his mind, his past self was eating his heart out. 

…

Several hours passed, and the bed vibrated softly with the reverberations of Rob’s phone. Lifting it, a text came in: [b]Where are you?[/b]

It was from Sam. It may as well been sent from Reality.

And suddenly the worries returned. [i]What about the rest of the tour? The band? Sam and Austin? Surely they would be happier about the tension being released, but band members dating? Were they even dating at all?[/i]

He cut off his thought, and gently relinquished Jane from his grasp; letting her stay on the bed, sliding up to a sitting position

“We need to get ready to leave,” he sighed. “I uh…I’m not going to ask you to be something you’re not, so I won’t…”

Rob’s voice trailed. He felt like he was formally asking a girl to date; something he hadn’t done since high school. It was so weird to be so vocal about his intentions. But he pressed on regardless.

“I guess it’s too obvious for Sam and Austin to keep it a secret from them,” he said. Then he panicked [i]It was a secret? What was it a secret? Did Jane want a secret.[/i] His own skill set of words; the same Jane had praised him for, were failing him. What came next? What was this new territory? Could it even be defined?

“Fuck it,” he muttered to himself. “I overthink things anyways.” He had promised to be true to himself, and he was lying already. 

Rob bent down and gently lifted Jane’s chin, so that their eyes aligned. Closing them, Rob bent in, and softly kissed the lips he had been staring at all this time. Electricity shot between him and her. But before the feeling to escalate…he pulled back softly, standing up and straightening himself. 

“Sometimes,” he said, “talking things out aren’t necessary.” 

He slipped out of the room, but not before turning back and saying: “I’ll be in the living room,” before closing the door behind him.

Rob quickly moved into his own room first, cleaning up his things, feeling the cold bed that had been so neglected the night before. The future was a complete uncertainty, but was was true was that he had to be direct now. He could no longer hide behind his own fancy words or conflicted thoughts. Other people were involved in his own world, and his own duality must be controlled. 

He put on a usual outfit for him, looked in the mirror, and laughed. [i]A tight black V-neck. How original, Rob.[/i]

He moved next to place his things in the space by the door, and making a pot of coffee soon after. He sat on the couch where they had sat just hours ago but worlds away. 

There were thousands of questions and no answers in sight. It was hardly what he had expected things to be like on a tour. On this trip where he had expected to find himself. 

Now he was a kite in a hurricane. Waiting. Thrilled for the future and scared of the possibilities somehow in the same thought.