Profile up!

And yeah, a picture isn't going to be possible. I really don't like trying to best-fit a character to what's available for use online - if I wanted to do that, I'd base a character off a picture. If I could draw, I'd at least try and make a realistic-looking outline drawing, but I can't. :(

[hider=Iikka Guiomar - Probably The Big Guy][b]What's your name?:[/b] Woah woah WOAH. That's kind of a personal question, and we aren't really supposed to tell anyone stuff like that. I can't tell you who I am, where I live, or who my friends are. It's too risky. For now, let's just say that my name is the answer to an ancient zen riddle, only heard in the rumble of thunder.

But you can call me Iikka.

[b]How old are you?:[/b] I'm pretty sure I'm 16, ruling out the scenario of life being a hellish existential prison of misery known as a soap opera where everyone is 34 but is held indefinitely at the age of 22.

[b]What do you look like?:[/b] I'm not showing you a picture because that might let you track me down somehow, but I suppose I can give you a vague physical description with a few lies thrown in to fool any quick sketch artists who might read this. I'm around 5' 8 feet tall, or 1.72 meters, and I weigh around 112 pounds or 50.8 kilograms. I'm pretty wiry, and I have long arms. I have pretty long, tawny-colored scraggly hair which I usually keep tied in a ponytail. I have golden-amber eyes, and my face is generally described as foxish.

[b]Do you have any hobbies? Please feel free to discuss them here:[/b] Yep! I love reading and writing, along with acting. Stories, you know? I especially like myths and old legends; they just don't write stories like they used to, you know? Of course, since the whole invasion of the body-snatchers thing, I quit the writers and drama club. Really don't feel like getting hands on with a beautiful girl on stage only to have something slimy that's NOT a tongue put in my ear. These days, I mainly horde story ideas and journals in a secret drawer in my room. I also really like climbing on stuff. Hiking, rock-climbing, wall-climbing, tree-climbing, I love it. If you ever come into a room and I'm standing on top of something inappropriate, don't worry. That's normal.

[b]Any dislikes?:[/b] I like to think I'm a pretty cool customer, but there are some things which really drive me up the wall, yeah. Mostly people, really. I don't like people who complain, for one thing. Even if they have a point, they should be doing something other than whining about it. I also don't like people who don't stand up for themselves. It's one thing if you're just a person who doesn't mind being insulted and can just walk away - that's fine. What I hate is people who get picked on, bullied, extorted, whatever, who don't ever grow a spine. If a person will bend over backwards and snap their own spine for a light breeze, they deserve it. I also don't like apologizers, and you'll never hear me say sorry for anything. And a bunch of other things.

But also, this one time, I was walking without my shoes on and my feet were all red, yeah? This girl comes by, looks at them, and then tells me I have poor blood circulation! Nerve! So then I slap her across the[This section has been redacted due to the foul and extremely inappropriate acts and words therein, which are not suitable for anyone to read ever. All parties involved acted in a supremely shameful fashion, being embarrassing as well as petty and spiteful. All 17 youths involved as well as the school superintendent and the nearby daycare supervisor performed 1,000 hours of local community service and attended group therapy for 12 weeks. Four restraining orders were issued between parties who shall remain unnamed, and no less than 9 new city ordinances have since been signed into law in response to these events]and that's also why we don't talk about paperweights anymore. I think that guy just has a duct tape collection now.

[b]Tell me, what are your goals for the future? Both immediate and long-term.:[/b] Ah, the long term is a really easy one. Before I can plan to do anything else, I'd really like to do something about all these interstellar invasive species. Before that was a thing, I was pretty interested in writing. It's still my primary hobby, as a matter of fact, but I can't publish or write anything that might attract attention to me. In fact, I've gone to pretty extensive lengths to make everything I write for school as boring and nondescript as possible. When - if, really - this war is over, I'd really like to write a memoir about the ordeal. I'd make about half of it true and the other half brazen lies, and I'll bet you anything at least half those lies will become retroactively true in the eyes of history. Short-term, I think I'd like to go to a few hobby shops and pick up some new time-wasting obsessions. That might help give me a believable cover story for all those nights where I'm not home, and if I'm being honest I'm dead bored since quitting all my clubs and extracurriculars.

[b]What's your home life like? Specifically, what is your relationship like with your parents?:[/b] Ugh. They barely even acknowledge my existence. For as long as I know, my parents have always given me the cold shoulder. The never talk to me - even that one time when I had to do all that community service, they didn't even care. Apparently it was like that even when I was little, from what I've heard from my friends' parents, they were always really hands off with me. Come to think of it, I've spent more time in my friends' houses than in mine, and more time with my friends parents than with mine. I have no idea what their problem is, and they deny everything whenever I confront them. Its only me they seem to be weird around, because they're pretty active in the community and have plenty of friends. They're well-liked, generally, although for no good reason in my opinion. Honestly, I'm looking forward to college just so I can get away from them forever.

[b]Siblings?:[/b] None, and I've never gotten around to asking whether that was a decision of theirs or what.

[b]What's your favorite animal, and why?:[/b] Definitely centipedes, no contest. Not those twittery little house centipedes, I mean the really BIG ones like Scolapendras. They can eat pretty much anything, are venomous, and are apex predators as far as slimy crawling things go. Also, the really big ones can be really, really pretty to look at. I even have one as a pet! His name is Mot, he's around a foot long (!), and I feed it mealworms, mostly. I keep it in a terrarium in my closet - I don't like talking about him to others, because I don't want anybody drawing any realizations between freakishly large, displaced centipede species running around outside and people in the city who keep centipedes as pets.

[b]Favorite color?:[/b] I would have to say orange! It has a striking, bold quality to it, but its not a common color and you don't see it too often.

[b]You wake up late one night to discover that your house is burning down. What do you do?:[/b] First, check to see if my parents are trapped by the flames or something to that effect. Once I am absolutely positive they are, I would probably run away and live on the streets after watching the house burn down with them in it!

I mean, I'd call the fire department, but I don't think I'd actually go so far as to try and save them.

We have a rocky history, ok?

[b]Finally, a tricky one; which came first, the chicken or the egg?:[/b] This is such a bullshit question. Chickens are a domesticated species like dogs, horses, models, and cows. Plus, with evolutionary trends and ecological demographics being what they are, even when the original chicken or its stupid egg were recognizable as modern chicken, and since evolution acts upon individuals across a whole species there was probably no clearly defined transition. Then there are multiple kinds of chicken and specific breeds of them and all kinds of other crap, not to mention all kinds of modern human tinkering with chicken genes.

But I suppose, given that you need at least one rooster at some point in time in order for a chicken to even lay eggs at all, that would imply two very chicken-like birds fertilizing an egg somewhere way in the past which gave rise to the first chicken. So egg, I guess.[/hider]