The afternoon spent with Rob was completely relaxing. They spent most of the time in bed, watching YouTube and Netflix and lounging lazily in the hotel room together. He was still being so giving; he got her anything that she needed and let her use him as a body pillow for most of the day, which briefly put her to sleep a couple of times. 

Throughout the day, Jane got herself [i]staring[/i] at Rob intently. Of course, part of it was lustfully (nearly everything Jane did was part lustful), but something else was there. For the past seven years, Jane always loved to be around Rob; he was her closest friend. But now, he was becoming something she didn’t want to go without, akin to her relationship with mind-altering substances. It was a terrifying yet thrilling feeling – something that she wasn’t ready to explain yet. Yes, this side of their relationship was new, but their bond was old. She had always loved him.  She probably always would.

Jane and Rob were in the middle of making out like two high schoolers when a knock at the door came, causing a sigh. She wasn’t upset that Lena was coming over, but she truly didn’t want the afternoon to end with Rob. 

After looking in the mirror in the room to straighten herself out, she opened to door to let Lena in.
“Hey,” she whispered as she waved a hand to welcome her in. 
Lena had a bag of Chinese food in her hand and a large water bottle, and she went to the kitchen’s island to set it all down. “Jesus, Jane. This is [i]nice.[/i]”
Jane nodded. “A little too fancy for my taste, but I guess we can afford it.” She had found out that whispering didn’t put a strain on her throat, although she knew she would have to limit her talking. She grabbed the food from the island and walked it to the living room area.
“This is for you,” Lena said sternly as she brought over the water bottle and sat next to Jane on the couch. “Drink it.” 
“Yes, ma’am,” she obeyed as she opened it and took a swig before looking over to see that Rob was leaving. 

[b]”I’ll be back when it ends.”[/b]

She tried not to frown as she waved him farewell. 
“Where’s he going?” Lena asked as she watched Rob leave. 
“Interview.”
Lena laughed. “Do you think it’s gonna go as well as the last one?” 
Jane rolled her eyes. “He’ll be fine.”

The night went off without a hitch; Lena and Jane were able to talk and laugh together like old times with no mention of what happened between them, much to Jane’s approval. 

Jane had gotten up to grab a joint out of her bag, and she cracked the sliding glass door for ventilation.
“Jane, no!” Lena said as she plucked it from her fingers. “You’re not supposed to smoke.”
She groaned. “I haven’t been sober this long in months. I’m laying off the cigarettes the best I can. Please, give me the fucking joint.”
Lena sighed and glared at her before giving it back. “You’re hard to say no to.”
Jane grinned with satisfaction. “I know,” she whispered as she worked to ignite the end of it, and once successful, blowing the smoke towards the door. She handed the joint to Lena, who shook her head.
“You know I don’t smoke.”
Jane shrugged. “Just thought I’d offer.”

Around the two hour mark of their night together, Lena got off the couch and stretched out. “I’m gonna head out. My aunt lives an hour north.” She offered a hand to Jane to help her up.
“I’ll walk you to the door,” Jane replied as she took Lena’s hand and stood up slowly. Once they made it to the threshold, she opened the door, but Lena stopped and turned around.
“I had a lot of fun tonight.”
Jane nodded. “Me too. Thanks for the food, as well.” She hugged Lena tightly for a moment, but when she tried to release her, Lena held on.
“Sorry,” Lena shook her head as she pulled a way to look up at Jane.
She knew that look. It was a dangerous one. One, if Jane had more time, would run away from now.
Jane’s suspicions were accurate, and Lena nearly shoved her against the wall as she kissed her abruptly.
Instinct kicked in for Jane, and she began to kiss her back, but only for about five seconds before she realized what was happening. She pushed Lena off of her. “Lena, I can’t.”
She scoffed. “You can’t [i]what[/i], Jane?”
“I can’t do [b]this[/b], Lena.” Her voice cracked as the volume raised. “It’s not fair to Rob.”
“And it’s not fair to me, either!” Lena’s voice also grew louder. “I got left behind in the fucking dust while you ran off on tour and completely forgot about me.” 
“Oh, come on, Lena. I was very clear whenever this,” Jane had waved her hands around, “started happening that I didn’t want anything serious.” 
“And now you do with Rob?” Lena crossed her arms and stood firmly in front of her. She was used to Jane running away from confrontation, but she wasn’t going to let that happen now.
Jane squeezed her eyes shut and scratched her head. “I don’t know, Lena,” she mumbled under her breath.
“Oh my [i]god.[/i] You think you’re in love with him, don’t you?” Her eyes were nearly bulging out of her head. “You’re joking, right?” Lena adjusted her purse strap on her arm and began to move towards the door. “Poor Rob.” 
Jane followed her towards the door. “What the hell does that mean?”
Lena had made it into the hallway by now, but she turned back to look at Jane with an unforgiving glare. “You’re gonna squeeze whatever you can get out of him, then fuck him over. Just like you do with everyone else you meet. You’re gonna keep fucking [i]everyone[/i] over until there’s no one left to love you, then you’re gonna be alone.” 
Her words cut Jane deeply, so much so that she felt tears well up in her eyes. “That’s not true,” her voice wavered.
“Really? It’s not, Jane?” Lena rolled her eyes. “Don’t come crawling back to me when you break his heart, too.” 

Lena left down the hallway and entered an elevator, but Jane didn’t reenter the hotel room until she was sure Lena had left. She slammed the door shut and threw her phone across the room that had been in her hand, making a shattering noise somewhere in the living room. 

What if Lena was right? What if Jane, for the rest of her existence, was doomed to be someone that destroys everyone and everything in her path until she’s left with nothing else? Was she putting Rob in harm’s way by growing so attached to him?

Jane instantly felt nauseated as her head swarmed with self-deprecating thoughts, and she plunged into bed and buried herself under the pillows and comforter before letting out a quiet whimper. The last thing she would want to do is breath the heart of the man that had always been there for her.

She had never met her father (supposedly Jane was a product of a one night stand) and her two older brothers’ father was never too interested in raising Jane. Her mom had divorced him long before Jane came along. After Jane’s mother died from complications of alcoholism, her brothers had tried to intervene, telling Jane that she needed to get her life together before she ended up in the same boat. Instead of seeing it as helpful, Jane took it as a slap in the face, and her brothers told her that until changed her ways, they would no longer keep in contact with her. Staying true to her ego, she agreed and stopped reaching out to them.

Jane’s heart hurt at the thought of losing the only close man she had left in her life. Could she keep herself from ruining things? Possibly. There was also the possibility that the relationship wouldn’t work out, and their friendship after that would be too awkward to continue. Or Rob could grow tired of her antics.  

She heard the text notification from her phone wherever it had landed in the living room, but Jane couldn’t conjure up the energy to go get it. A day that had been so nice had turned to shit. All she wanted was Rob to be there. But she couldn't fight sleep's call after the emotional toll the night had taken on her.