Ah... Dreams... How Ryoki longed to have normal ones again. Under the effects of her anti-depressants, she rarely got dreams nowadays, and those that she did usually resulted in nightmares. Usually she woke up before things got to be unbearable, though. She always seemed to be able to wake herself a moment before [i]then[/i]... Just before her whole life flipped upside down. A moment before... [i]that moment[/i], when the nightmare would truly begin. [url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VDqu7Oa9rs]... Cue the really loud alarm clock...[/url] "GAH! EVERY GODDAMN TIME!" Yelled the Raven as she was forcibly woken from her bleak slumber, heart racing from the incredibly loud and obnoxious alarm clock. Instinctively her hand reached over and slammed down hard on the device - the machine had seen much punishment in all of it's time with Ryoki. It was probably a good thing it was manufactured to take abuse, otherwise that poor alarm clock would've broken looooooong ago. ... It had been awhile since Ryoki had used her old alarm clock. Admittedly, it was probably a dumb idea, but she was beginning to find reasons to get out of bed in the morning, now. Hell, even keeping up with a schedule nowadays was hard; Ryoki, for the past couple of months, hasn't been keeping up with the world in the slightest. Learning to become busy again was... hard. And it also made her feel guilty for not keeping up with the world. But then again, who could blame her? With a sigh, the Raven sifts a hand through her hair, staring up at the ceiling. Her hair had grown in the months since The Incident, and she hadn't bothered to cut it. The last time her hair was this long, she was cosplaying at that one anime convention held in Shine City. Thinking back upon the memory, Ryoki was tempted to smile - at the very least, the edges of her mouth crooked upwards, however it wasn't necessarily a smile. Smiling came hard to her nowadays, at least genuinely. Everything was really quite difficult... She used to be able to accomplish so much... Now she could hardly work... Ah, work. A reminder rang out through her head as she remembered the Boss's kindness. [i]'I need to thank the Boss later...'[/i] She thought to herself. Yutaro also came to mind. [i]'... And him too...'[/i] Inhale... Exhale... Sitting up, Ryoki looks around her room. It wasn't the apartment room she'd come to know as home for the past couple of years. It was her bedroom. The room she'd grown up in, all throughout childhood. Home. Even though she wasn't quite used to waking up in her bedroom, it was still familiar to her. Her eyes wandered the rather open area, retracing how she would always go about getting up in the morning - her autopilot. Up and early, out the door to have a relaxing morning shower. Then, back to get dressed, touch up, do a quick solo on whatever instrument she felt like that morning, and then off to the tutoring. Or instead, in her last year, to school. Life back then was so simple... Why did it have to change? Medicine. Right. She needed medicine. God, she felt like a mess... Pills stood atop her bedside table, out of place, and, quite frankly, unwanted. However, they were needed. Ryoki knew that. Unscrewing the lid, she quickly picks out the correct amount before swallowing them down with the provided glass of water. No doubt her brother was behind that. She would always catch the maids and butlers sneaking into her room at night, yet when it came to Kimasu, the boy was like a fox, or better yet a ninja. No doubt his lessons in dance had taught him how to inadvertently sneak without making a sound. Almost a smile... Almost. With a yawn, Ryoki got up, stretching. Her walk over to her dresser could only be classified as "zombie-like", and the manner in which she was conducting herself could be described similarly. Feeling lazy, Ryoki simply picked out [url=http://myfashiony.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/wpid-Womens-Business-Casual-Attire-2015-2016-4.jpg]the first top and pants she could find[/url] and threw them on. Satisfied with her randomised choice, she walked over to the mirror, simply opting to brush her hair, before giving a nod of satisfaction. [i]'Good enough.'[/i] However, as she began making her way over to the door, she felt something was... missing. It didn't take the Raven long to figure out, as she quickly strode back to the mirror and took the yellow and black scarf which had been unceremoniously tossed onto it. The previous night truly had been exhausting; the casino had been getting pretty busy, what with the whole animal thing becoming a hit and it becoming summer time. Speaking of which, wearing a scarf in summer wasn't always the smartest of ideas, but the heat didn't really bother her so she didn't mind, though others were oddly rather concerned. As she was about to leave for the second time, however, her eye caught on to something... important. That item of importance was none other than Mokyu's hair ribbon. It had been given to Ryoki as a means of remembrance, however it hadn't been touched since it was given to her. She eyes the ribbon for what felt like minutes, before looking away. Then she looks back. Then away. [i]'Just put it on you stupid girl!'[/i] She hesitates. Then, in a swift motion, Ryoki snatches the piece of fabric from the table and studies it closely. She looks about ready to tear up, however manages to keep herself composed, at least... somewhat. Quickly, she takes some of her hair and ties it up similarly to how Mokyu used to when she was... around. Using the mirror as a reference, the procedure actually takes several minutes, due to Ryoki not knowing how to tie up a ribbon and also having to fight the urge to completely break down. However, given some time, she manages to fashion the ribbon so it looks halfway decent in her eyes. As she looks at herself in the mirror, a tear rolls down her cheek. Déjà vu. [i]'It's just like... back then... with Nanna...'[/i] It was difficult [i]not[/i] to see the similarity between the aftermath of the two most tragic deaths in Ryoki's life. Aside from the difference in intensity, the past couple months had been a very familiar cycle to her. Well, aside from getting hospitalised, however that was one of the only differences. Standing before this mirror again, as a lone tear crept down her cheek - that was the moment that felt [i]so, so[/i] familiar to her. Wearing something the dead once wore to remember them by... it made Ryoki just a little shaky. Inhale. Exhale. Breath. Breath in... Breath out... [i]'Breath, Ryoki... Breath...'[/i] That was the best she could do: keep breathing. To stop breathing, Ryoki knew, meant death, and that meant that she would become an angel in the skies too. True, the idea was appealing, however after her first attempt to reach the heavens, she knew that doing such a thing herself would be disrespectful to the dead. The hospital trip also gave her some insight into how much her own life meant to others... She had to keep living. After all, Mokyu would always catch up to her whenever they played games together and she died, telling Ryoki to keep going ahead -- to keep living -- and that she would reach her eventually. Despite the fact the words were spoken in a virtual world over voice chat a long time ago, they sure as Hell had their significance now. It was almost prophetic for her to have said such things in the countless MMOs the two ventured through together. By now, tears were streaming down Ryoki's face and she was quite visibly crying, her heart aching. She felt like she needed to vomit, and made sure to rest herself close to the small bin in her room just in case, however no disgusting stomach substances were thrown up. Just an unbearable sadness and feeling of horrible grief that persisted for another thirty minutes... Once she had calmed down a bit, she got up and took several deep breaths. Her eyes, no longer watering and able to see through, looked over at her alarm clock: 10:54am. If she stayed her any longer, she wouldn't be able to go for her morning coffee. God knew she needed one of those right about now. And what better place to go for coffee than Mochavine? She'd only recently just started visiting again. She hadn't performed there in absolutely ages, though regulars and the wonderful staff whom she knew instantly recognised her as she stepped through the doors two weeks ago. It was hardly a professional greeting from the staff at Mochavine, but the welcome was warm and genuine. Plus, she got free coffee out of it, which was nice. The generosity really was cherished by the oldest Mochizukki. She knew she was missed, but... As she steps out of her room, Ryoki aims to clear her mind. [i]'People miss you, Ryoki.'[/i] She assured herself. [i]'They really do. Not just the people at Mochavine, or the family, or friends. It's a bigger picture than that... the fans. They miss you, too.'[/i] The air is silent as she effortlessly navigates the home of the family mansion, greeting whomever she met along the way with a nod and a growing smile which refused to be whole. [i]'Lot's of people miss you, Ryoki... They don't want you to leave. Don't be so selfish. And, more importantly, don't beat yourself up over it.'[/i] She unlocks her phone and looks at her contacts as she made her way toward the door. Many of the people there she hadn't spoken to in ages. Today, she needed to change that... But first... coffee. [hr] It was 11:19am when she arrived at Mochavine. The wonderful fragrance that wafted throughout the bar-shop was invigorating to anyone who stopped by, that was without question. The place never seemed to change, even though she was gone for such a long time. In a sense, it was kind of like paradise: a utopia which forever stayed beautiful and great. She had so many fond memories of the restaurant that if you asked her to recount all of them, it could take hours for her to go over them all. It was almost like a second home to her. After all, it's been her past, present, and continues shaping her future to this day with it's absolutely [i]astounding[/i] coffee! Strolling up to the bar, Ryoki took a glance around. Faces new and old could be seen everywhere she looked, as they went about their daily lives, fetching a late breakfast or early lunch, or just something to keep them going. Memories could be seen as though they were being replayed right in front of her eyes, however one specific memory caught her attention as she glanced at the bar... [i]"I see I've met a fellow coffee purist. So, is this damage control from last night, or do you wrestle with every morning?"[/i] Yutaro... The memory brought a smile to Ryoki's face -- a genuine one, mind you -- as she boldly strode up to the bar and took a seat. The bar seats were always more comfortable to her, for some reason, even more-so than the chairs provided at the tables. She smiles softly at the current barista and states, in a calm and surprisingly non-depressed voice: "I'll take your finest black coffee, please."