[quote=@MatthiasAngel]
[@CourierSix] Ok so a handful of comments on your post, all of which you are free to dismiss, because it is of course ultimately up to you.

Except for this first one:
1. Typo. You wrote "grouo" instead of "group" near the end of the last paragraph. 

2. Generally avoid saying "high-grade military weapons" or "powerful guns" or whatever. Do a little research and throw some names in there. M4 barbine for the modern military rifle, M16 for a little bit older (Vietnam era). Remington 870 for the modern military shotgun, Winchester 1912 for a little bit older (also Vietnam era). Some SMG's, like the MP5K and Skorpion vz. 61, are classic mob/gang weapons that your guys could have looted. I encourage you to look up models on your own to find something appropriate for the year, availability, or just the fun. The more details, the more of your picture we get to see.

Wikipedia is even nice enough to provide whole pages per category: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_combat_shotguns Just make sure you get approval from the GM!

3. I'm a little confused by the behavior of the leader chilling in the truck bed. You set him up to be a formidable person who  He was calm and confident and just instantly melted. Like, he didn't prepare at all for Raguel thinking he had backup? I was kind of expecting him to eyeball Reguel and lie with a straight face. Instead Raguel was like "Hi, whatcha doing in your truck?" and he was like "OH CRAP I WASN'T PREPARED FOR HIM TO TALK TO ME."

If you want to go ahead and write him off as easy prey to emphasize Raguel's cunning, by all means, but maybe make the leader look less like a formidable opponent.
[/quote]

1.) Fixed, thanks. Here I was thinking that I made it all the way through that without having a typo. 8/

2.) I say "high-grade military weapons" instead of describing what they had because what is the case is that it is an assortment of weaponry, from M16s to M14s to M870 MCSs. I wanted to paint the picture of randomness and non-uniformity, instead of going the route of explaining each NPC's loadout. I feel like that makes for a more difficult read (except for Gunther, probably. 8P). If that's the way you all think it'd be better as, though, then I'd be happy to change that.

3.) Also intentional. The intention was that, despite how confident the leader was, or how well he planned this series of events, there was nothing he could do when outmatched in terms of firepower, numbers, and most importantly wit. An individual's formidability, realistically, doesn't say much when put against odds that simply cannot be accounted for.

But I'll keep it in mind when I get around to writing my next post. I appreciate the feedback.