[h1][color=orange]Archie Davis[/color] and [color=gray]Harmon Rottlage[/color][/h1]
[b]Oakdell Harbor, White Coast[/b]

Archie was seated on a bench somewhere along the boardwalk. He had his backpack open and the impossibly spaced bag opened up inside. He was reaching his arm down, seemingly attempting to grab something, and then out came a small black device with a thick plastic antenna on it. Looked like some kind of wifi router. He gave it a look before setting it aside and taking out his phone. He opened up an application that he'd probably gotten more use out of then literally every other person who's ever bought it - text to speech. He set the voice to TTS Mike, speed modifier at zero, and with the unnaturally dextrous fingers of his right hand, he began typing.

"Got it. Hey, how about you join me for a walk up here?"

And the bag - or whoever was in it - replied, "O-okay."

Archie got up from his seat and pulled the bag out a bit, held it up  opening-outward, as wide as it was allowed. And out stepped the strangest young man you ever did see - skinny frame, colorless complexion, and an assortment of metal bits scattered about his noggin. Archie's premium buddy of seven years, Harmon Rottlage. Just climbed right on out of his backpack like any normal friend would. A few passing boardwalk-goers looked on in confusion, but Archie simply waved to them as though nothing was out of the ordinary.

Harmon looked around with the camera of his [i]own[/i] cellular telephone, mouth slightly more agape than usual. He turned and put his hands on the wooden railing, looking out at the waters and beaches, all very much being occupied by the public. Harmon took in a breath of fresh air. "It's... it's nice." He commented softly.

"I know. Probably the best-looking hotspot in the US of A at this point. Sunny skies and friendly faces." Archie replied, with his phone. He walked up to Harmon and held up the device from earlier, still connected by a blue wire running i to the bag. "This thing working?"

"Yeah, i-it is." Harmon replied, "I can see everyone using their phones and laptops now."

"Excellent."

Here's the thing - non-Euclidean folds in the fabric of reality tend to suffer from cuts in satellite ranges, which means no internet. For a lot of people, that basically means all hope is lost. So sometime ago, Harmon remedied the situation by cooking up a little signal-receiving device. Running from the outside into a system of routers on the inside, wifi signals could squeeze through and get properly jumped on by the folks inside Archie's bag of wonders. Back then, that definitely put Harmon on some peoples' friend lists - shame he failed to see the merit in social media and never used any of its available outlets. Chances are he'd be somewhat popular

Archie pinned the device to a clip on his backpack, poised and free to pick up any available signals. Harmon was always on standby to fix any problems that arose. "Y-you sure no one's going to... steal it?" Harmon asked, walking beside Archie as the two headed further along the boardwalk.

"If they do, you and I will go on the wildest adventure to get it back. We'll end up finding out the whole thing runs deeper than we thought, and we'll have to infiltrate the underground crime ring of Baybridge, beat the crap out of some Russians, jump through the air with two guns each, disable the bomb, secure the antidote for the virus, and save Christmas. In theaters next month in 3D IMAX sweet Dolby surround sound supreme."

Harmon just shook his head, wheezing a bit in amusement. Archie slung his arm over his buddy's shoulder, and they kept on marching forth.