Cecil remained out of the way and quiet in the back of the cart, keeping very much to himself at this point. He was certainly a little concerned that he was making the wrong decision to keep going with these people, he didn’t even know if they still saw him as a friend anymore. If something like what happened on the ship happened again then they were better off destroying him. He didn’t know how his life might compare to a real person’s life or whether he was in the same league as them, he didn’t even know his limitations and whether there was a way to shut him down without having to touch him if things went wrong. It would probably be for the best if he was going to be controlled in some fashion by the others, much like how those Machina at the manor were controlled up until their master died.

The images of those Machina dying in such violent manners got to him quite a bit still, but the others probably didn’t understand why it was so terrifying to him. He didn’t know if they would ever understand, they thought it was fine to kill a Machina but not their own kind after all. There was probably nothing stopping Ethan from chopping his head off or Nymira from melting him if he stepped out of line like those Machina did. He felt pretty thoroughly disturbed by how they were killed, yet the others were barely phased by it if only for the deaths of the soldiers. It couldn’t be fair to think like that, as if the lives of organic beings were worth more than Machina and yet that appeared to be the reality.

These past few days were really making him question his existence and if he really was never going to fit into society. He wanted to be a part of this world, he didn’t want to be seen as different, but in reality he didn’t know why he felt so compelled to join their society. He hadn’t been active for one of their years yet he was desperate to join their lives yet he didn’t even know why. It was all a matter of why he wanted to fit in but he couldn’t find a reason or understand how he came to the conclusion that it was what he definitely wanted. Maybe once everybody had forgotten about what he did he would be able to ask about life and what it offered him. He had so many questions and yet didn’t ask any of them when everyone still liked him.

Contemplating over what he should’ve done when he had the chance the noise he was hearing elsewhere that was fairly close certainly put him on high alert. He didn’t know what it was and could only feel nervous, thinking it might be another battle coming their way. It was surely too soon for something like a battle, but what was worse was nobody had the right energy output to fight off the threat. He did have some energy but he couldn’t use it when he was in danger of going berserk again. Pulling at his hat as he cowered in the back of the cart he gasped when a voice called out instead, one he recognised. Looking up he saw Norman over all their supplies, gasping as he stumbled back onto his spot and pulled at his hat again.

That was certainly a sight he didn’t know how to react to, he didn’t even know if he should be happy or scared that Norman might think to have him decommissioned instead of repaired because of what he did. It was Norman who told him he was a combat-type Machina, but whether he was opposed to having him functioning and in favour of having him shut down or accepted him for what he was still remained a mystery to him. He was stressing out fairly quickly again, he didn’t know how much trouble he was going to be in. He had been using his battery power like it was no big deal and now he had killed people and damaged his internal systems. Norman was going to be angry with him, he knew it for sure.

Keeping quiet as he tried to think up excuses he gasped when Norman finally came around to check on him, staring down at him as he asked him the questions he knew he would struggle answering properly. “Uhh…I-I-…not…very good…” he spoke lowly, slowly shifting to the edge of the cart before simply falling off, landing on his feet but falling onto his backside at the end. Groaning lightly he rubbed his head, frowning as he looked up at Norman. “I-I-I d-damaged my head. I’m sorry, it’s all my-my fault too! I should had been careful…”