Rob’s own guilt seems to only strengthen with each word Jane said. She seemed to blame herself for the whole ordeal. And it wasn’t like Rob was waiting and hoping to be blamed for the issues. But he couldn’t help but feel like most of this was on him, 

Both of them clearly weren’t in a good state of mind. This discussion was hard, and hurt, but it was something that needed to happen. Before whatever Harold would put them through. Before the recording of this next song. Before he let things go too far with Zoe, possibly. He wasn’t sure of anything at this point. 

[i]”I love you, Rob. I always will.”[/i]

Something about her admission was so painful to hear. To understand that somebody cared so deeply about him, only to be so lost and confused by his own actions…it was a bit much to bear in this moment. Perhaps most people would feel so much more comforted by these words, especially from somebody they cared about. But in this moment it was so much more like a sad truth—a reminder of how much he felt like he had fucked up. 

“I don’t—“ Rob started, before choking on the words. He too had to look away-his eyes growing moist. As if the stress of the situation wasn’t already hard enough.

“I guess, we just moved so quickly,” he stuttered out. “We weren’t really ready for what that meant.” 

So much of his wanted to tell her that he loved her back. But there was a certain weight to those words that he couldn’t bring himself to say it aloud. Not even to someone that he truly cared about. 

“I don’t want to set rules about anything anymore,” he continued, on his previous thought. “I don’t want you to ever feel suffocated. I don’t want to loose you. Or any of the fun we’ve had these past few days, because while shit got weird, I’ve also never felt so happy. I mean, nothing else is wrong. And…lord knows the sex is great.”

He tried to smile for himself. The words of Zoe echoed in his head, [i]Always talking. Always thinking.[/i]

Regardless of what she was or what she wanted, Zoe had a very good point. And, Jane had always told him, she couldn’t be a typical girlfriend. In this moment, it wasn’t something Rob had wanted anyway. In fact, he didn’t even know [i]what[/i] he wanted. At this point, all he could think of was keeping the band afloat and keeping Jane in his life. And if that meant trying something new, so be it. 

“Maybe,” Rob tried, “we should just tune it down a bit.” 

The words stung him the moment they came out of his mouth, but he continued: “I mean, I’ve love to keep what we’ve got physically and all, but, I don’t know…I still feel like I forced you into something you weren’t expecting. So, uh, maybe we could try out being casual for a bit.”

That word in particular was something Rob hated more than anything. [i]Casual[/i]. It meant a thousand things to a thousand people, to the point where it really didn’t mean much. Rob wasn’t sure what he was even implying when he said it. Did he mean they could see other people? Did he mean they needed to be more apart? He wasn’t sure himself. Perhaps it was better that way. That both of the would work out their own meaning of casual.

He couldn’t tell Jane’s reaction from expressions alone, but he worried she would think it was about the Zoe thing. It surely wasn’t; it was about making sure Rob didn’t fuck up either of them and both of them were free to be, well, them. 

Right? It wasn’t about Zoe. 

Right? 

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Rob repeated. “Not anymore than I fear I already have.”