This was one of the loneliest night’s sleep on tour. One, she had gotten turned on by dancing with Andy, to be frank. Especially after feeling his lips and warm breath on her skin, although it did strike guilt into her. And two, she was used to having Rob’s long, muscular arms wrapped around her every night. No matter how angry she felt at him for what he explain to her, she still longed for him. And that pissed her off even more.

Jane was awoken out of her coma-like sleep by a knock on her door, followed by Rob’s muffled voice. Before even opening her eyes, she groaned loudly. Without even taking time to process his words, Jane swung her legs over the side of the bed and rubbed her face. 

Sitting in the van with Rob was the last thing she wanted to do. Imagining how potentially tense things would be made her want to crawl under the bed and let the band go on without her, but she reluctantly tugged a thin, black shirt over her head and slid into jean shorts before dumping everything into her duffle bag and meeting the guys downstairs.  

As she climbed into the van, she noticed Rob’s feet on the floor behind the row she decided on, but Jane couldn’t muster up the courage to peer over the seat and look at him. Instead, she worked to make herself comfortable by laying down in an almost fetal position with her hoodie as a pillow. 

Her phone vibrated near her stomach, and when she read the text on the screen, she couldn’t hold back a smile.

Andy: [b]I had a really fun time with you last night.[/b]

Jane bit her lip for a moment before responding. Was she feeling… butterflies?

Jane: [b]Me too. Thanks for everything.[/b]

Another text came through only a minute later.

Andy: [b]It was nice seeing you smile again.[/b]

The text Andy had sent made Jane feel a mix of emotions. She was happy be flirting with someone new; it always brought her a sense of excitement. But it also made her feel like she was fulfilling her own prophecy – that she wouldn’t be able to date someone without seeking comfort from someone else. But, thinks with Rob were ‘casual’ now, so did she really need to feel guilty at all?  And had she really been [i]that[/i] bummed out each time she saw Andy? After really thinking on it, Jane realized he was right. Each time she had seen Andy, there was some new, fucked up piece from the story of Rob and Jane.

Andy was right - perhaps it just wasn’t meant to be.

Jane: [b]Well, you definitely played a big part in that.[/b]

Still, it felt so wrong talking to someone else like this.

Andy: [b]Glad I could help.[/b]

Jane pursed her lips as she locked the phone and held it near her chest, deep in thought of where this thing would lead with Andy if she let it. He didn’t seem to be the serious type, and he also didn’t seem like [i]he would run away at any sign of conflict, leaving Jane stranded with her thoughts and blaming herself after she tried so hard to satisfy him.[/i]

Yes, she was holding in a lot of anger, and usually, she would just let it out to satisfy her own needs, but the situation seemed so fragile. And now, they had to go record a song, then travel to a new set of countries none of them have even heard of. 

Jane took out her phone once more to shoot Andy a text back.

Jane: [b]Did your manager confirm for Europe yet?[/b]

Andy: [b]We should be hearing back from him tonight. It could go either way. [/b]

While it was exciting to know that Andy and Vicarious could be coming along with them, the thoughts of Zoe being around was enough to dampen her enthusiasm. Did Rob run off with her last night just like she had with Andy? 

Just hearing Zoe’s name was enough to allow rage to bubble inside of Jane. She had always hated the unspoken cattiness many girls subscribed to, and it was one of the reasons that high school was nearly unbearable, but now she felt like she was in the same boat again. The mean girl in class that is trying to steal her boyfriend.

A new question arose in Jane: Was Zoe playing a part in Rob’s change of heart? Could she have been amplifying her flaws to Rob so that he’d reconsider what they had started?

She realized that was a way to place the blame on someone else, so no matter how much better (yet worse) the thought made her feel, Jane decided not to linger on it. It wouldn’t help anyone to assume things. For now.

Austin popped his head over the seat in front of Jane and pinged her forehead. “You look rough.”

Jane swatted his hand away and smirked. “I went out with Andy last night. It snowed.” 

“Ah,” Austin said, understanding the euphemism. “Have left overs?” 

Jane stuck her tongue out. “[i]Maybe.[/i] Wanna hang out tonight?” 

“For sure, dude. I think Kansas might be a little boring.” 

Both of them laughed before Austin settled back down into his seat, leaving Jane alone once again. Her pride wasn’t going to let her talk to Rob, at least not yet. She wasn’t ready to hear anything else hurtful from him; she had her share yesterday. 

Jane opted for sleeping off the rest of the hangover in the van. “Wake me up when we get there, Aust?” 

“You got it,” Austin replied as he waved a hand over the seat.