The stained, dusty heap of multicolored fabric had squeezed itself out from under a pile of broken planks, shrieking and scurrying over behind the fur-clad giant on base instinct, darting from one tree-trunk leg to the other as the familiar sign of Dwarven bloodlust glittered in Sketti's eyes and the house manservant crumpled in on himself in growing despair.  

"Ehhh, [i]phwoar![/i]" it had squeaked, obnoxiously, waving the I AM A MERSENARY stikk like a defensive talisman, "What a, um, [i]terrible accident![/i]"

[hr]

Food had a way of enforcing the most uneasy of truces, and so it was that the would-be hirelings now sat around the banquet table as the dust settled, and one or two stubborn chunks of rubble dropped down from the erstwhile balcony above.

"See, I was jus' lookin' about fer da boss of da castle," Gobskag was explaining, shrilly, "When I noticed dis, ehhh..." the goblin's beady red eyes shifted between Jan and the Dwarf, "[i]evil-lookin'... one-armed... 'alfling...[/i]" he tried, "All lurkin' about, wiv a crossbow an' all like, eyein' the proceedins below.  And ehhh, I heard 'im mutterin' like, sayin [i]"I'll get dese gits if iss da last fing I do, cos I 'ate da boss of dis castle an I'm gunna shank anyone what tries ta help 'im!"[/i]"

Gobskag stuffed a whole potato in his mouth, not even slowing down as he continued his tale and chewed at the same time, potentially goading Biancca to put a musket ball between his eyes and spare her another moment of Etiquette Hell.

"Well, bein' of an 'eroic nature, I charged the git, an' fought wiv all da strengf I could musta, which is why I was shoutin', see -- but it were too late!  Da platform fing started to break, and he disappeared inna puff of smoke, leavin' me ta fall to my deff!  'Ow was I to know dis castle was so shonky?  Fank Mork da damage weren't worse than it was!  And that, ehhh, the, ehh, nice... stunty... didn't get krumped."  

Gobskag tried not to look shifty, unfortunately looking shifty about trying not to look shifty.

"You boyz an' ehh... girly-boyz..." he attempted, eyeing Biancca uncertainly, "...can calls me Gobskag da Great, top finga-waggla of da Scarey Face tribe, an' [i]also[/i] da Black Bonez tribe.  Dey's all dead, mind, but it still counts."

Another potato and the top half of a drumstick, bones and all, followed the first into Gobskag's abnormally capacious gob.

"Fooo, ehhh.... (chomp, krakk)  ..Whem duff we gef paid?"