[B]What's your name?[/B]
Are all the questions gonna be like this? Because of they're all gonna be like this, this is gonna take, like, what, two, three minutes? Right? You think? I mean, maybe more, because sometimes, I get a little off track, my mom says I think like spaghetti or yarn, and one thing just leads into another, so if you ask a super easy question -- like about my name -- I could go off on a tangent for days, but I think it's a talent, because it means I'm never out of things to talk about, which I guess could be bad if you're shy, or if you have to pee real bad, or -- 

What? Do you have to pee? 

...oh. Right. Yeah. My name. It's Maxine. Maxine Jada Jackson, but that's a stupid name. Way too many letters. And syllables. There is no reason for a four-letter work like 'Jada' to have two syllables. 'Book' isn't two syllables. 'Isn't' is, but that's just 'cause it's a contraction, so it's pretty much two words, like -- 

Right. Right. My name. 

Call me Max. 

[B]How old are you?[/B]
All the questions are gonna be this easy! Awesome. So, I need to go, then, and call the boys, because I told them I wouldn't be able to take them to see that new Lego movie, because I had this thing, but if all the -- 

Oops. 

Sixteen. Well. Almost. Fifteen years, eight months, and two weeks. Not that anyone's counting. That was a joke, I'm counting because I can get my license in fourteen weeks! [I]Fourteen[/I]! This is gonna be the best summer ever. 

[B]What do you look like?[/B]
What do I...but you're looking right at me. Can...oh my gosh, can you not see me? I am so sorry, I didn't know. No, it's totally okay, Mom says Aunt Susan was legally blind, and I was always with her....but I also used to leave lots of stuff out on accident, and she kinda fell down sometimes...But I won't leave anything for you to trip on! I was really little at the time, like...fourteen. Now, I'm practically a grown-up. Did I mention I'm getting my license soon?

Right. What do I look like. Okay. 

Umm...nothing much, I guess? I dunno. I used to get made fun of kind of a lot for how I look. I don't really mind, though. I figure there could be a whole bunch of things wrong with me, and how I look is one I can't change, so why worry about it, y'know? 

I'm...pretty short, but it works out alright. I do a lot of gymnastics, and all those girls who go to the Olympics are tiny, y'know? I have a whole bunch of hair. It's brown, and super curly. Hazel eyes...um...oh. The freckles. I have a lot of freckles. Like, a whole lot. 

[URL=http://obeyclothing.com/media/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/51.jpg]See[/URL]? 

[B]Do you have any hobbies? [/B]
Yeah, I just said! My favorite thing is probably gymnastics. Mom put me in what I was just two, 'cause she said otherwise, I ran around the house and got into things and it bugged my dad a bunch. She said she saw my climb out of my crib one day all by myself, and that's when she knew. 

So, I've been doing that a long time now, and my teacher said I have a pretty good chance of doing the Olympics in a couple years...if I stop getting distracted during practice. Oops. 

Aside from that? Um...well, I teach gymnastics and tumbling at my gym. That way, I can get my lessons for free, and then I get paid half time, too, and I always go shopping with the boys then. 

OH! My little brothers, I love them pretty much more than anything. Their names are Jack and Cody, and they're twins. They turn five two days after Christmas. Can you believe it? They were pretty much just born yesterday, but they're HUGE, and they're [i]way[/i] louder than I am, I don't know [i]what[/i] my mom is talking about...

[B]Any dislikes?[/B]
Dislikes? Um...well...no. I try not to dislike things, that seems judgy. My Gramma -- my mom's mom -- she used to say not liking something was only ever evidence of not being able to empathize. I know empathy's not a hobby, but it's important, I'm pretty good at it. I think. 

So...I guess I don't like when people are mean, or don't give other people a chance. But I don't avoid them, or anything. I think, lotsa times, when people are mean, it's just 'cause nobody ever showed them how to be nice. And that makes me sad. 

So...no, then? 

Oh wait! I don't like sitting still. Being patient is basically the hardest thing in the world, y'know? Like, who ever invented lines? I don't wanna hate that person, 'cause that's mean, but I really wish they just...hadn't. 

Oh. I guess I don't really like super small spaces, either. I have nothing against them, or anything. I just don't like to be [i]in[/i] them. It makes me feel like I can't breathe. Y'know?

[B]Tell me, what are your goals for the future? Both immediate and long-term.[/B]
Oh, yeah! Well, first, like I said, I wanna go to the Olympics! But I only wanna go if I know my mom and brothers can come, so...maybe after high school and before college? If I can afford college. I know I'm s'posed be saving up, but I'm really bad at hanging on to money. Or most things. I used to have this really pretty bracelet from my other grandma, my dad's mom, but I lost it. It was really nice, too. Oh, well. 

So, um...the Olympics. Oh, but high school, first. And then...I dunno, I know Mom really wants me to go to school, but school is a whole [i]lot[/i] of sitting still, and I [i]hate[/i] that. I'd way rather keep doing gymnastics. If I could find some way to do that [i]and[/i] get money to help mom pay for the groceries and the mortgage and all the other boring grown-up stuff, it'd be so cool!

So, if you have any ideas, I wanna hear 'em, 'kay? 

[b]What's your home life like? Specifically, what is your relationship like with your parents?[/b]
It's amazing! Let's see, we have this really great new apartment on the edge of town, with [i]three[/i] bedrooms...well, okay, that's not true. It's just two bedrooms, but I helped Mom convert the living room into this little space with a divider, so I kind of have my own room at night! We have to take down the wall during the day, otherwise, the boys might knock it over, but with school and babysitting and gymnastics, I'm only there at night, anyway. And it's way better than when we used to live in the city with my dad. 

I love my mom. She's pretty much my best friend, only she's way prettier. People never think she's my mom, only my sister. She's an RN at the hospital in the city, and she's everyone's favorite. She always gets all these great gifts from her patients. All the kids in pediatrics want her to give them shots, and all the old folks in...old folks hospital...OH! Geriatrics, that's what it's called -- they all like her. Sometimes, they ask to set her up with their sons, but Mom just says no, she has two crazy boys in her life already. 

She's also pretty fun. 

...what? Why?

I told you about my mom. That's who I live with. That's my home life. Why should we have to talk about my dad? 

...fine. Whatever. He's a lawyer. He works downtown. His name is Peter. That's it. Okay? 

[B]Siblings?[/B]
My baby brothers are pretty much the best ever. I guess they're not even babies anymore, huh? They're a huge handful, but I love them more than basically anything, and if anyone ever tries to hurt them, then I guess, I get a little mean. 

I guess that's another thing I dislike. I try really hard to be nice to everyone, but when someone tries to hurt my family or my friends, I just...I can't anymore. 

You wanna know something really bad? 

I don't even feel bad about it afterward. 

[B]What's your favorite animal, and why?[/B]
Oh! I know! This one's easy. It's the otter. Because they're all fast and little and cute and always moving and swimming, and it's awesome. Did you know they hold hands for life? Or...wait, maybe they mate for life. Or maybe...maybe they break shells on their bellies for life? Well, they definitely do [i]something[/i]. Maybe just not for life. That's a really long time. I think. I dunno. How long do otters live? 

I also really like killer whales and bunnies and zebras and capybaras -- those are like giant guinea pigs, have you seen them? I saw one on the Discovery Channel the other day, it was like the size of Jack, if Jack was even bigger than he is now. I wonder what they eat? 

I bet a capybara would kill for a red Otter Pop.

Oh! Hey! Otters. I like otters. 

[b]Favorite color?[/b]
Easy. Red! Like hearts. Or fire! Or hearts [i]on[/i] fire. But not like bad, like heart burn. Like heart-love. Like when you're [i]in[/i] love, and it feels like your heart's on fire. That's a thing, right? 

No, no, no! Wait! Blue. Like...like the ocean, 'cause it goes on forever, and covers 73% of your body. No...wait...that's not right. It's cover 73% of the earth, and your body is made up of...water. Lots of it. Maybe not 73%. Definitely less than 100% and more than 6%. And the earth is somewhere in there, too. 

Or...orange! More fire! And carrots!

No, no, no, no, no, wait, I forgot purple! I [i]love[/i] purple! Did you know it's the color of loyalty? Or...wait...royalty...Um...Definitely one of those....

[B]You wake up late one night to discover that your house is burning down. What do you do?[/B]
What?!? I don't know! Why would you plan for these things? Why would you plan for anything, nothing like [i]that[/i] ever goes according to plan, especially if you're half asleep! How can I say what I do [i]now[/i]???

I...if I had to guess, I'd go to my brothers first. I'd get them out, even if I had to carry them both on my back, and they're getting pretty big. We live in an apartment, and we know the family next door pretty well, so maybe...maybe give them to him? And then go make sure my mom gets out, and then probably get the fire extinguisher, I think we have one of those...but I don't know how to use it. You just squirt, right? Like a spray bottle? I mean, how hard could it be to figure out, they have to make it usable in emergencies, and I know you don't just throw the whole thing [i]at[/i] the fire, so -- 

...wait. You don't. Right? 

[B]Finally, a tricky one; which came first, the chicken or the egg?[/B]
...what? Are we done yet? I wanna go outside. There's a squirrel out there!

Oh! A squirrel. A squirrel is my favorite animal. They're so nutty. 

...get it? 

I saw that on the inside of a Bazooka Bubblegum wrapper once. 

Pink! Pink is my favorite color for [i]sure[/i] this time. Except green. I like green. Do you like green? There are so many different types of green, like 'kelly', what even is that? Isn't it a name? I mean, why don't we just name everything...