A little over three hours later, Jane, Andy and Austin found themselves at their second bar of the night. They were all fairly drunk from the alcohol and buzzing from Andy’s party favors, but Jane’s mind kept wandering back to Rob. Where was he now? What was he doing? [i]Who was he with?[/i] She was annoyed at herself for thinking about him so much, and Austin’s next question only solidified her grievance. “Lighten up, J,” he whispered as he nudged her arm. “You’re being a buzzkill.” She had been lost in thought for a few minutes, only moving to take a sip of her drink. “Sorry,” she murmured while forcing a faint smile. Austin ruffled her hair before Andy returned from the bathroom and plopped down on the bar stool on Jane’s other side. “She cheer up yet?” Andy asked Austin. “I’m right here, ass – “ “No,” Austin shook his head, interrupting Jane. “She’s being a real buzzkill.” “No I’m [i]not,[/i]” she whined as she looked back and forth to the two long haired men. “I’m… I’m just quiet.” “Yeah, that’s not normal,” Austin laughed with Andy. Jane sighed, putting her face in her hands. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” Andy placed a hand on her back, gliding it up and down gently. “It’s gonna be okay, Jane. If he was the one who brought this up, do you think [i]he’s[/i] moping around right now?” She shook her head. “Probably not.” Austin’s mouth turned downward in empathy. “Then have some fun, J. This isn’t like you to be all upset over a guy.” “I know,” she sighed as she waved at the bartender. “A round of Jameson, please.” “There she is,” Andy smiled, removing his hand from her back. “Let’s have some fun.” [center]*****[/center] Another hour passed, and they were all now in a sketchy, dark night club that housed probably too many people for its capacity. Not much talking could be done over the loud electronic music the DJ perched in the corner was spinning, but that didn’t stop Austin, who had found a petite brunette to buy drinks for and dance with. That left Andy and Jane at the bar, and they people watched together, pointing and laughing at the strange things they saw the crowd doing. Each time Jane found herself growing quiet in thought, Andy would snap her out of it, either by attempting a conversation or laughing at something, and she did her best to play along to save her the heartache her thoughts would inevitably give her. Jane’s inner dialogue mostly berated her for giving so much to Rob – something she normally would have never done – only to be shunned for it in return. How could she be so stupid to think someone like him would truly be happy with a girl like her? No matter how hard she tried, he must have not been able to look past the fact that Jane would always be the promiscuous, care-free, unreliable wildcard that would eventually self-destruct. “Am I an awful person, Andy?” Jane asked sincerely as the DJ went out for a break. “Jesus, Jane. No,” Andy replied with furrowed brows. He rested a hand on her shoulder and squeezed. “Why would you say that?” “I mean, if my [i]best[/i] friend, the one who I had spent seven years with, decided that I just wasn’t what he wanted, I must really be fucked.” Although it sounded like a pity party, Jane was just being honest. She had never felt so insecure and self-conscious about herself before. Another thing to thank Rob for. “Just because it didn’t work out with Rob, doesn’t mean that you’re destined to be alone. Some people just don’t mix like that.” “But, I thought we did, you know? Maybe I’m just blind,” Jane sighed as she shook her head. “I would [i]never[/i] break out this quote, mainly because I don’t want anyone to know I watch it, but there was this quote from Sex and the City – “ “Oh my god,” Jane smiled. “Hey, we’re on the road a lot. There’s only so many shows to watch,” Austin laughed at her amusement. “Anyway, the quote goes ‘Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with them.’ And I’ve never met anyone that quote pertains to more than you.” Jane tried to suppress a smirk. “Thanks, Andy.” Her eyes moved from the floor and met his, and for a few moments, they lingered there. [i]”This is bad, Jane. Don’t do it.”[/i] Andy’s hand reached out and tucked her hair behind one of her ears. [i]”How is this going to solve anything? It’s going to make it worse.”[/i] Without thought, Jane’s hand reached up to his in her hair and gripped it. [i]”You’re going to regret this.”[/i] After another moment or two, Andy leaned in slowly until his lips met Jane’s. She was paralyzed for a moment, not sure of how she felt, and once he noticed, he leaned back into his chair “Sorry. This probably isn’t what you need, huh?” Andy asked, but his facial expression betrayed his sentiment. “I, uh,” Jane began, “I think it [i]is.[/i]” Andy raised an eyebrow in both surprise and satisfaction, and after hearing Jane’s opinion, he consequentially leaned in towards her again, this time with less hesitation. A hand reached up to Jane, his fingers wrapping around the back of her head into her hair while his thumb settled on the side of her face. Jane, this time, returned Andy’s kiss, pushing Rob out of her mind as she did. After a few moments, they broke away from each other and laughed. No matter how good the kiss made Jane feel, she couldn’t help but think of Rob, and Andy was able to read the expression she subconsciously displayed on her face. “I understand, Jane. Don’t do anything you’re not ready for.” Jane groaned. “It’s not that I don’t want to. Really. I just keep seeing his stupid face,” she chuckled as she wiped a tear that had formed. “Thanks, Andy.” He nodded and rubbed her arm that was propped against the bar. “Want me to take you back to the hotel?” Jane nodded in disappointment in herself, then scanned the crowd for Austin’s curly hair, who she spotted with the brunette. “Hey,” she called to him as she approached the pair. “Andy and I are gonna get outta here.” Austin nodded. “I’m gonna stay. If I’m not home by the morning, come find me.” “Can I stay in your room? I… I really don’t wanna share with Rob right now.” Jane was a bit embarrassed to ask this of Austin - letting anyone know how much she was hurting usually was – but it was worth it not to deal with the awkwardness that could have been waiting for her behind Rob’s door. “Yeah, of course. I’ll just sleep in yours when, well [i]if[/i] I come back. It’s room 907. Not sure what Sam’s doing though, so enter with caution.” Austin grabbed her head and pulled her close so he could kiss her forehead. “Hang in there, kid.” Jane nodded and waved farewell before making her way back to Andy. “I’m ready.” [center]*****[/center] Andy was the first to get out of the elevator, but before exiting, he leaned in the doorway and looked to Jane. “You gonna be okay?” Jane sighed. “Yeah. I’ll be fine. Austin’s letting me crash in his room instead.” He looked down at the floor and nodded. “Look, Jane. I didn’t kiss you earlier for any other reason other than I’m purely attracted to you. Not to help you forget about Rob, or because I’m fucked up.” His eyes slowly made their way up to hers. “I think you’re a beautiful person, inside and out, and I understand you’re going through a lot right now. I guess what I’m saying is, I’m here for you. Even if it’s strictly platonic. Okay?” “Thanks, Andy,” Jane’s raspy voice spoke with sincerity. “That means a lot.” “Good night, Jane.” And with that, Andy took off down the hallway to his room, and the silver doors closed in front of her. She leaned back against the cool wall behind here and squeezed her eyes shut. The night made her feel both better and worse than she had before she left the studio. Better, because for just a small moment in time, she forgot about her problems with Rob. And the way Andy talked to her – how he actually spoke to her and told her how he felt – had boosted her mood and confidence. Worse, well, because kissing Andy made her realize how much more work she had to do to get over Rob, work that wouldn’t involve just sleeping with someone else. This was far too much of an emotional attachment for that to work. Why couldn’t Rob talk to her the way Andy did? Perhaps it was because he had realized he did not feel that way anymore. Or that he realized he never did. Possibly, simple infatuation, the “wanting-what-you-can’t-have” phase was what blinding him into thinking that it could work with her. It reminded her of a song that, although sonically she didn’t find appealing, the words were haunting: [center]”You were red and you liked me because I was blue You touched me and suddenly I was a lilac sky And you decided purple just wasn't for you”[/center] The possibility of being able to be loved by Rob was Jane’s only motivation for trying so hard to please him. It wasn’t to try to change herself, or an attempt to convince Rob that she was something she wasn’t. It was all driven by passion. A selflessness. Something foreign to her. Yet, she was left here empty handed, using her vices to try to forget the mess she had created. Jane unlocked the room Sam and Austin were assigned with the small key card and pushed it open to find the common area empty. Thank god. She didn’t feel like explaining to Sam the event that led up to her staying there instead of with Rob. After locating the unoccupied room, she locked the door behind her and stripped down before drunkenly diving into the plush bed. She didn’t want to sleep alone; in all honesty, she wanted to be in Rob’s arms like she had grown accustomed to. But, things were just too weird now. She couldn’t get away with just sliding into bed with him like she could before. Eventually, after wrapping herself tightly in the comforter, Jane drifted off to sleep with thoughts of both Andy and Rob, the tour about to take place, and the new song they were recording. And not to forget, the general sense of dread she had about waking up tomorrow and navigating the day around Rob. It was all too complicated now.