[i]Why?[/i] he asked. Why. That was a glorious question given the situation - Caesarion was the one who needed forgiving, considering he had gone. But what he didn't understand was why Noah didn't seem to consider possibilities other than abandonment. Perhaps he had some fear of abandonment. Maybe he'd been abandoned? Caesarion had been told that many Kelvics, in their lives, were abandoned. Abandoned by their 'owners', with little care for their wellbeing, considering many were only treated as housepets. Abandoned by their parents, who were often mentally handicapped compared to your average sentient adult. And why? Because [i]they[/i] were abandoned too - by their bonds, by their family, by everyone. The life of a Kelvic was one of abandonment. 

He could only presume that this was the reason why Noah felt angered at his presence, why he assumed that Caesar too was a craven who left him without a word. And this saddened him. Although their bond had broken, Caesarion had hoped all along that perhaps instead of questioning his loyalty, Noah would inquire more deeply as to why he had gone. And so the man would tell him. 

"Why would you be elated?" He asked. At first he responded as if casually, as if simply reciting the question. But his blood stirred at the notion that he was some careless wretch who had gone away without consideration for the bond bestowed upon him. As if Caesarion was not, among all his weaknesses, at least a faithful man. He had always been loyal to those who were loyal to him, and so he knew in his heart that he did not leave Noah out of anything less than necessity. 

"Because I am the man you lay with for the first time, as you were mine. Because I am your first love, as you were mine. Because you know, and cannot doubt, that I have been true to you since the moment we first spoke. I am not merely Caesarion to you, a name attached to a man. I am linked to you. Even though your ties to me were severed, I know the feeling still remains in you. I can feel it myself." His hands pulled back to clench his chest, fingers pressed against the skin that concealed his heart. 

He could imagine all that had conspired in the mind of his lover. Since Caesarion had gone, he had begun to build a wall to block him out. Thoughts of him, senses of nostalgia, images even in dreams; all mentions of Caesarion were barred from Noah. And he could only imagine that the mechanism he built to answer for why he buried the man's memory was that he had betrayed him, and left him alone and forlorn. Thoughts about all that must have transpired raced through his mind. Why Noah was acting like this. Why Noah was hesitant of his touch. Why Noah seemed so angry. 

But what troubled him the most was that he believed that Caesarion was to blame for all of this. As if, at the end of his perilous journey, his only reward was to be remembered as a fickle beast. 

"I caused no wound," he said to him, drawing closer regardless of the man's warnings. Perhaps he underestimated the severity of his threats, but honestly Caesarion did not believe he would resort to retaliation. "Circumstance caused the wound. I met you at the apex of a crisis I had been avoiding for half a year. You do not know all there is to know about me. My past. That I was a slave. That I was abused and that my fate was predetermined. I know pain, Noah. I know scars. I have a bloody T burnt onto my wrist for the rest of my life; the mark of my [i]master.[/i]" Emarus Telemaran. He thought him a witless log, considering Caesarion had fried his mind through hypnotic conditioning. But he recovered - to Caesarion's dismay.

"I ran in order to spare you from the consequences of my freedom. Even in your anger you must understand that what happened between us was not my fault. It wasn't my want. I did not leave you because I grew tired of you or anything of the like. I left you because I cherished your life, which was forfeit if it continued to be bound to my own. I was being [i]hunted,[/i] Noah. Do you not understand that? Do you wish to claim that you would be happier now if your spine had been torn from your back and set ablaze?" He stopped his slow forward momentum, and paused. 

"Forgive me. I'm sorry that I left, and especially that our bond severed as a result. But I won't ever kneel and lie and say that I did so out of weakness, merely so that you will have me again. If you love me, or ever did, then believe me when I tell you that my departure was so that we may spend the rest of our lives [i]together.[/i] You and me."