Noah’s gaze sat in his lap where his plate was. He wasn’t focused on eating as much as he was with thinking. The more he thought about it, there were distinct differences between Elann and Caesarion. Their differences were rooted in the deepness of their personalities, personas Noah carelessly failed to understand entirely before committing himself to them. That’s what it truly was, him committing himself to them, not the other way around. At first it was he who pursued them for the sake of learning about their human behavior, because they were curiosities in his mind. Somehow, when he settled in his observations, they turned to pursue him.

Elann grew close to him because he was always present, always around, and showed her the capability for friendship when she didn’t have any due to being a new arrival in the city. Their friendship blossomed with him welcoming because he didn’t have any of them either, didn’t exactly seek them out, to be fair. Caesarion grew close to him because they were alike, much like Elann and Noah in the beginning, in that they were outsiders and seemingly looked down upon. Caesarion was a former slave, and Kelvics were subhuman in the eyes of most of the society. It wasn’t that Noah cared about the stigma placed against it, but it was hampering and disheartening to him when he did try to press himself as a human.

Meeting Elann had been a turning point for him because he was ready to give up and return to Zeltiva, a place where he knew he was accepted by those who mattered in his life. With Elann he had felt as if he could try one more time to be a human, to be normal. Yet as their relationship progressed, as he grew more comfortable with her, he began to feel as if he didn’t have to continue his facade any longer, he could be himself, a Kelvic. When he tried to be himself, he was met with resistance and misunderstanding on Elann’s part. That was when the pressings for change came, when she urged and pressured him to bend against himself to keep attempting at an endeavor he no longer wanted to try at.

The harsh reality of it all was Noah had issues with trusting others. He had been snubbed and heart once by the person he supposedly held nearest to his heart, and it took time enough to recover so he could give his heart to Elann. Then, he trusted her implicitly and had the trust tarnished by a continuous barrage of requests. Now, the trust had wavered and his heart was closed up and hidden away behind the shell and walls he was erecting. Noah couldn’t deny his love for her, his want for her to understand him so he could take down his walls and let her back in.

Elann hardly ate, drawing pleasure from his own eating, his own immense appetite. She told him about the importance of it in her mind, how it was in her culture. Up here though, she didn’t have to worry about food being a scarcity, didn’t have to worry about not having the coin to pay for it either. He believed her view to be one sided, perhaps disregarding his request for equity in their relationship.

He saw her as more than his wife, the title itself was near meaningless in his opinion, but it meant something to her so he tried to draw meaning from it. All the titles and meanings she bestowed upon him would’ve been followed regardless of if they were married in her way or not. They were married by his bond, and he would avenge, protect, and love her because of the bond alone. In his own stubbornness, he didn’t want to add new definitions to what he had already defined, to what was already defined in their bond. He had conceded in their actual wedding because it was what she wanted, because it was causing a rift between them, and if the rift would stop and she would be happy, then he would wed himself to her. 

He did it in the name of his own love, and in the love he looked up from the second plate in his lap to see her in front of him. Noah swallowed what was in his mouth before raising the plate to her. “You should eat more,” he said, and if she declined he would only insist again.