Noah nodded at her words. Elann started humming as she ate what she took from him but he didn’t speak anymore after that point. There was nothing to say but there was much more to think about. His mind went back to his guilt and how he wondered how to recover the growing rift between him and his bondmate. He had tried to change for her, and was still going to try, but there was only so much he could be pushed to do with the bond or not. He had his own personality, his preferences, likes and dislikes, and all of that couldn’t be swept away in order to sate Elann’s ever-reaching requests. If he changed what he was, who was he left but a creature molded by she? That was no way to live, regardless of their bond.

Noah knew Caesarion enjoyed the untamed nature within him, enjoyed the distant disposition and many other aspects Elann sought to change. When it came to Caesarion, the man only sought to teach Noah knew things and refine what the Kelvic was already good at. Perhaps Caesarion wished to make Noah more of a darkly tuned creature than Elann, but the Kelvic wasn’t inherently good nor evil, light nor dark. He was as he was and did what he did with no insidious or benevolent nature behind it. It was out of curiosity, because he wanted to see how people would react if he were to test and push and pull in certain places, certain situations.

It wasn’t unrealistic to be unforgiving, to be vindictive. Noah believed he had been wronged many times by Elann and sought to make her understand that. It wasn’t until the new motivation came along did he grow frustrated with her, only ever becoming angry in their latest fight - which ended in him no longer wanting to debate anything with her. She was sensitive and dramatic to the point where she took his annoyance and turned it into a full attack on herself when that wasn’t it at all. Whenever he wasn’t showing of his agreement, she took it as him being resistant or disagreeing with her suggestion. His hesitation wasn’t a cause for concern as much as her out of proportion reactions were.

Noah didn’t want to quell her naturally excitable behavior as much as he wanted her to understand his naturally placid one. Before their bonding he enjoyed to see her bubbling with energy and revving with her intensity, but after they bonded, it became jarring to deal with consistently. He believed he would get used to it, and he was at one point, until they hit a few snags in which the way she dealt with her own emotions and always bugged him to talk about a problem instead of leaving him alone, it all drove her to appear annoying and naggy. Her neediness and his want for distance didn’t mix well, and it was starting to show.

The guilt he felt in sharing his bond remained but the reasoning spoke out to him; why would he share the most vulnerable parts of himself to her at all?

Noah raised his hand to the meat offered, waving it off. He was approaching fullness himself and it was an uncomfortable feeling. He only pressed himself in this way because it would be a long while before he could eat another meal.

“Okay,” he said in reply to the suggestion for walking.

“A little,” he said, meaning just that.

Next, he eased out of the blanket, letting his bare body out and grabbed ahold of the pants cast aside the night before. He set them in his lap then looked to Elann again. 

“When we get to Zeltiva, I still want to show you the tree and go to the inn by the mine,” he said. “Do you?”

Despite what they were going through, he still held onto the hope they would be better once they arrived in Zeltiva. He had expressed the want to show her his hideaway, somewhere dear to him, because he was seeking to create something special in Zeltiva with her. As much as each day seemingly cut away at the amount of hope in his heart, it still remained.

“Could you help me?” he asked next, raising the trousers slightly off his lap.