[quote=@Phoenix]This isn't the only edit this passage could have, but it addresses the idea of using periods more frequently than most do. [/quote]

[i][indent]It's been a while since I've been in any role-play, and while I would like to join one, I do think I could use some advice before I try and get involved again.[/indent][/i]

This sentence isn't too long for human comprehension and there are pro's and con's to putting a full stop before the 'and'; while it does make the first clause more direct, you could argue that it makes the second clause [i]less[/i] direct by slightly obscuring what 'one' refers to. As you acknowledge yourself, directness is not always the order of the day and I think you over-egg the value of sentences invoking 'finality'. You're right to advise that shorter sentences have a particular feel (while longer ones are appropriate under different circumstances), but your criticism here isn't particularly fair, given that the comma you have corrected is perfectly sound, grammatically, as it precedes a coordinating conjunction that connects two independent clauses. 

The Advanced Section sometimes seems to have a really toxic reputation and can scare players off who, mistakenly, believe they're somehow 'not good enough' or fear that they might get picked apart. The consequence of this is that those players avoid certain sections of this community and that community suffers the loss of their absence and subsequently gets lower traffic - a lose-lose situation. I'm not sure that this piece of advice was terribly helpful, nor was the implication that Gendarme doesn't know how grammar works. I've known some fab writers in the Advanced section who do make minor SpaG errors (as I'm sure literally every writer does) and, while it might be better practice if they didn't make those mistakes, their writing is by no means unreadable and is nevertheless excellent. I am the first to require a certain level of SpaG proficiency in my games, but I have rarely seen anybody refused entry to a game based on their SpaG - and Gendarme's SpaG is certainly not in that category. Implying that they need to do some research into punctuation before their induction to the Advanced section based on one short passage of non-IC text is, I think, an unfair comment on Gendarme's writing and an unfair reflection of the attitude and expectations of the Advanced section.