Feeling Jane’s touch on him again was intoxicating.

She was (and always had been) driven and intentional in her movements. Her body seemed to be so in tune with her mind, and her emotional expressions were very much in her physical strength. 

Her fingertips on his skin shot impulses straight through Rob’s body—and her touch and her lips continued to slide across and down him, and he found it increasingly difficult to think straight.

But her words still rang in his mind, partially fuzzed by the alcohol and his own lustful thinking, but still ever-present. 

Was this what he wanted? Possibly. So much had gone wrong, perhaps it was best to start slow.

He [i]didn’t[/i] want to have said what he had in the first place. He didn’t want to write the song that they had been forced to write and he didn’t want to be controlled by so many different entities. There was so much he did not want it was difficult to decide what it was he did. 

It might have been another man’s dream—Jane’s proposition, at least. The idea of an emotionally exclusive relationship while maintaining physical intimacy with others was perhaps one of the great things people expected men to want. Like a sort of goal or pinnacle to reach. And sure, years had passed that Rob had indulged himself in the very same agreements, enjoying the pleasures that he could with little to no remorse the feelings they may or may not have inhibited on others. 

But Rob wasn’t like those men. He was weary, confused, and neurotic. The idea of Jane with others was off-putting to him. And sure…it could be fun. For a while. But how close could they become with a revolving door of other men and women kept coming between them? People with different world views and thoughts, feelings, and all different types of shapes and sizes? What then? 

It was all something that would be easier to think about; perhaps after he indulged both himself and Jane. Hell, if he was really honest. This was mainly for him. 

Rob slipped his arms around Jane. “Yeah,” he breathed out, his heart beginning to race. “Let’s do it.”

Then the world faded away entirely.

—

The next morning, Rob and Jane lay intertwined in bed, comforted by the feelings of the other, and the blankets enveloping them. The sun shone though the windows by the far wall—the first glimmers of dawn gently lulling Rob awake from a light sleep. 

He slipped away from Jane quietly, with a gentle kiss given to her as he left, along with a note he penned as he went:

[i]Gonna try to get some practice in while you do that interview. Go tell those fuckers whats up! Love you, Rob.[/i] 

He left the note in the room where she’d see it, before slipping out entirely, closing the door with a soft clicking noise.

Within a few minutes, he had hailed a taxi and rode to the nearest music studio, making sure to drop off some merch with the owner for the free practice time he had secured via Aaron. It turned out, he had friends all the way out here, too.

He began to practice, working his way through the typical patterns and warm ups, before playing some of his favorite songs.

There was a growing comfort in what had transpired last night. For the first time in a while, Jane and Rob were finally on the same page. They knew what the other wanted, and there wasn’t much need for any clarified feelings or miscommunication. Or, in the very least, not now. Now, he could find some sense of normalcy in his life.

After a few songs had broken a sweat across his brow, he slipped his phone out, looking to find a song to play to. He was, in the end, greeted with a message he had received the night before that he had ignored while he spoke to Jane. It was from Zoe:

[i]10:21 PM, Zoe:[/i] [b]Sorry for flipping out at you. I know shit got weird for a bit there, but we can still hang out, right?[/b]

Rob thought for a moment, before:

[i]8:56 AM, Rob:[/i] [b]I’d like that.[/b]

He slipped the phone into his pocket, thinking of what that relationship may become without the threat of hurting other’s feelings. But each time he thought of Zoe, the next thought was of Andy, and his own relationship with Jane. 

And then there was Trent. Caught in the middle of it all. 

Maybe touring with Vicarious wasn’t the best idea. But there was no changing it now. They would need to figure these things out in Europe; something that seemed so far away, but was now closer than ever to being a reality. 

Having lost the drive to continue on, Rob set the sticks down and slipped out of the studio with his headphones on. [url= https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FpKU3bIjVN4]Big Dark Love by Murder By Death[/url] played loudly in the speakers by his ears, building endlessly to the final electronic conclusion of the song. 

Rob took a drag from a cigarette and let the smoke pour from his lungs into the open air, and thought of what could come next.