[quote=@Overlord24] Name: "The Overlord" Avary Muse Age: 13 Birthday: He doesn't know Magic: Ice Make Magic Level: A History: Avary was raised by his father, who was in a dark guild. He grew up believing that what his father was doing was right. It wasn't until he was abandoned on the front steps of Fairy Tail that he learned what was good and what wasn't. Personality: Dark and secluded due to his parentage. Guild and guild mark location: Fairy Tail, light blue, inner right forearm. Three Strengths: (Not just combat) 1. Writing 2. Hand to hand 3. Stealth Three Weaknesses: (Make them Applicable) 1. His past 2. People 3. Heat Greatest Love: No one Motivation: Stopping evil guilds Appearance: [img]http://tse3.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.Mcfa833252736a4d491a9a4f2d1ee9583H0&pid=15.1[/img] Additional Details: He rarely talks to people, and if he does, he never talks about his past. [/quote] Okay, so our great and powerful GM [@Caits] is not on right now, so I'm going to point out the more obvious problems here, along with a few specific ones. First, as [@Raijinslayer] said, It is painfully obvious that you didn't even bother to read the whole first post, where the premise is located. Second, your character is barely defined. The personality is a single sentence. The History is vague, and the title, Motivation, and strengths seem completely random. Why is he good at writing? Why is he called "Overlord?" Why is his motivation stopping Dark Guilds? That age. Hoo boy. He is an A-Rank Mage at the tender age of 13? That is extremely unrealistic. A-rank would mean that he could hold his own against the likes of Gajeel, Grey, or Juvia. It takes time for any mage to get stronger through practice, experience and maturity. To be that stong, he would have to be some kind of genius, and if he was, there is no explanation, or reasoning why. To a more specific thing that you would not know, Maker magics are restricted, unless there is a very good reason for it, or it is very cool or unique. Even then, they will have to pass inspection. Final Questions: Why does he not know his birthday, and if he doesn't know when he was born, how does he know how old he is?