Noah’s question of frustration was answered with reason by the Ravokian. Noah stayed where he was, watching the man with wary eyes as his lips parted to spill truth into the quiet and whispering air. It was true, Caesarion was more than a name attached to a body. Noah would discard names for they simply acted as the calls in which to beckon another. It was how he felt about his own name, any true attachment was negligible. Caesarion was different though, and the Ravokian knew as much, pointing it out undeniably. Caesarion was linked to Noah in the specialness of the memory they shared together. He was the first man Noah lay with in that way and was the first bond forged in those fires of passion, a bond that was supposed to be stronger than anything the Kelvic could imagine.

That was what hurt the most, knowing their supposedly indestructible bond was broken and marred. What was uplifting was knowing the bond hadn’t been discarded by Caesarion just as it hadn’t been discarded by Noah. The Kelvic did bond to another, retying the twine of his heart but he couldn’t erase the past. The previous break in the bond was still apparent to him; where his silver and pure thread once shined bright, there were two dull spots to denote the breakage. The first, farther down, was Caesarion, the freshest one was Elann.

Noah’s hand went to his own heart as Caesarion’s clutched at his chest. An explanation came next, Caesarion drawing closer much to the Kelvic’s dismay. Noah took a hesitant half-step backwards, his body torn between heart and mind as reason fought with the want of love. Caesarion explained it was the fault of circumstance, not his own, for why their bond had been broken, but as he went on to reveal he was being hunted the Kelvic was further conflicted. Noah’s face showed it in the fight between soft eyes and creased brows. The care he had for Caesarion, the want he possessed for the man to be okay, still remained and was even more pronounced than in the few days they did spend with one another. It was harrowing to the Kelvic to hear his former bondmate was being hunted.

All Noah could do was nod in acceptance; it was not Caesarion’s fault their bond was broken. It was the hunters and the lovers’ untimely encounter which had terrible consequences. Noah licked his lips, his gaze faltering to look down at the patch of ground between them. His hands came to grasp emptily at one another as his mind raced through foggy emotions. His breaths were shallow until they weren’t, a large one being taken as he looked up to set his sights upon Caesarion’s face once again.

“I do love you,” he admitted. “I never stopped loving you and I believe you.” Noah took a step forward, one step followed by another until he was back feeling the man’s radiating warmth. His hands reached for the man’s body, fingers cautiously playing along the skin of the man’s abdomen. The touch confirmed the moment was real to Noah.

“You should have told me, Caesarion,” he urged, looking up at the man. It was both odd and relieving to be able to look up and into his ex-lover’s eyes. There was something extremely protective about the height difference and how Noah’s still lithe frame compared to the man’s larger one. As it were, up this close, Caesarion could plainly see the pain in Noah’s face.

“I would have done anything if you had just told me.” The Kelvic was near the point of whining, the tremble of his voice apparent as he fought to keep his own emotions in check enough to speak clearly. “I appreciate you sparing me, but I wanted to protect you too, I cherish your life too. Why… why’d you have to go and be selfish!”

There was anger in the statement but it was short lived, Noah’s hand balling into a fist and patting down on Caesarion’s chest in his pathetic want for emphasis. The Kelvic swallowed over the lump in his throat, fighting still to keep his burning eyes from spilling over. He was overwhelmed with emotions his otherwise flighty body couldn’t handle and work through at the pace in which they were coming. For a long while the Kelvic had been a monotone husk of grey existence and here that husk was suddenly being flooded with colors his fragile body couldn’t contain.

“I forgive you, I just don’t know what to do. I didn’t know what to do then either. I was scared and lost because I expected you to be mine forever and you weren’t… you were gone and I couldn’t find you because I couldn’t feel you anymore.”