[sub]in collaboration with [@Meiyuki][/sub] [h1][center][u][i]"The Lonely Road"[/i][/u][/center][/h1] [i] [color=92278f]"You know what you need to do Lorelai."[/color] Sousiel's voice rang out, piercing Lorelai's contemplation. "Finish it, unbind yourself and do what must be done." Lorelai looked up from her perch against a tree, a few days more and they'd arrive back at Castle Bloodrose. Too soon by her measure, not near time enough to mourn, but when did she ever get enough time? [color=00aeef]"Sousiel, dear. You know I can't do that. I don't have enough power left, and the old rites have been forgotten."[/color] [color=92278f]"They're always forgotten!"[/color] Sousiel protested as she climbed into her mistress' lap. Resting her head against Lorelai's shoulder she continued quietly. [color=92278f]"You've plenty of power, you just don't like... the darker side of yourself."[/color] [color=00aeef]"For a good reason Sousiel."[/color] Lorelai wrapped her arm around her familiar, her warmth and distraction a welcome comfort. [color=00aeef]"You know what lurks in my mind, I'm not ready to give in to the horror that awaits."[/color] [color=92278f]"Then don't, your will is transcendant Lorelai. Take ownership of the writhing darkness inside you and make it your tool. I know you can do it, if only you had the same faith I do."[/color] Sousiel began to purr lightly as she nuzzled in closer. [color=92278f]"I know you miss Vespa, I do too strangely enough. I... I can't let this stand Lorelai, your descent is our best shot."[/color] [color=00aeef]"Do you really think so?"[/color] Lorelai stroked the demon's hair absentmindedly. [color=00aeef]"Maybe, but where to start?"[/color] Sousiel grinned happily. [color=92278f]"The Dragons left signs and portents everywhere for their adherents to find. 'Seek places of savage might and grand knowledge' is what has always been said."[/color] She giggled lightly, burying her face in her mistress' shoulder. [color=92278f]"By that reckoning you should just check your luggage, or perhaps under your bed."[/color] Lorelai laughed, it felt good. At least she still had Sousiel. [color=00aeef]"You think? Perhaps Dragons have been leaving me portents in my soup as well then?"[/color] She sighed. [color=00aeef]"I'm just scared I guess, the transformation. How much of me will be left?"[/color] [color=92278f]"If you didn't fear it you wouldn't be wise enough to claim it Lorelai."[/color] Sousiel pulled away to look into her mistress' eyes. [color=92278f]"It's been a part of you for a long time Lorelai, I just want to see you tame it, make it yours."[/color] Sousiel planted a small peck on Lorelai's cheek before nuzzling back into her shoulder. [color=92278f]"No matter what happens you'll still have me. While they may not thank you for it your coven would be safe as well."[/color] [color=00aeef]"Thank you Sousiel."[/color] Lorelai smiled softly at her familiar. [color=00aeef]"You really are my most prized possession."[/color] They sat in companionable silence for a time after that. Lorelai's thoughts drifted from topic to topic without much order or discipline. She walked again through her mental gallery of her and Vespa's life together, love and loss, laughter and light. She thought of Hector and his dreadful wisdom, of the emptiness of vengeance. She remembered the good times between her and Medusa bitterly, as things had gotten so bad now as to call for blood. Was it out of vengeance? Lorelai didn't think so, the thing at the front of her mind now that the rage had faded - some anyway - was that Medusa either had it out for her or that her leadership could no longer be trusted. She resolved to allow Medusa the opportunity to step down. Lorelai thought of Dragons. No one really knew what a Dragon really was, but her family had borne their image on their seal nonetheless. The language of demons was even named for them. She'd always assumed that the term Dragon simply came from the serpent iconography of Satan, but perhaps she'd missed something. Demon Lords had intimated to her - in not so many words - that there were older things in the inferno than demons. Could that be a reference of the oh so elusive Dragon? Alexina had spent the time they have traveled alone...ahead of the group, she couldn't have talked to Lorelai before then...even with that bitch Genovene trying to crawl all over her. It was true she hated Vespa. But she cared for Lorelai's heart...she knew she did love her dearly. And as much as she wanted to take care of her and comfort her....she felt she just couldn't do it...even before telling Vespa that she will win Lorelai Back. It just seemed wrong for her to try and comfort her. she didn't understand why. Though, now that Lorelai was in the forest away from the group...with Sousiel. She felt it was time to talk to her. She stepped out from behind a tree she was lurking behind, working up the courage to do so. She slowly made her way towards her and said softly...[color=00a651]"Lorelai.... I'm sorry that I didn't say this sooner....but I'm sorry for your loss....and want you to know that I am here for you if you need anything." [/color]She shifted nervously and looksed away. [color=00a651]"I Know I haven't been here the last few days... I just thought you would need some space..." [/color] Sousiel heard Alexina approaching. Likely because the woman wanted her to, and decided to give the two of them some privacy. Pushing herself up gently, she abdicated her seat in Lorelai's lap and offered Alexina a small wave as she passed her on the way back to camp. [color=00aeef]"Always anticipating my needs, I'm blessed."[/color] Lorelai smiled sadly up at Alexina as she patted the ground next to her. [color=00aeef]"You know I've usually liked to lick my wounds alone, but I wouldn't mind some company now if you've got time?"[/color] Alexina only gave a faint soft smile, before nodding. [color=00a651]"Of course... I always have time for you Lore..."[/color] She sat down quietly and looked at Lorelai. She then gripped the top of her hand closest to her and sat there for a moment. She didn't know what else to say... she was always horrible at these things. [color=00a651]"I... honestly don' t know how I can help you through this Lorelai...and I want to. So tell me...what can I do to make things easier for you?"[/color] [color=00aeef]"I don't know Lexi... Can you create more time?"[/color] Lorelai layed her head back against the tree, closing her bloodshot eyes. [color=00aeef]"I feel old Lexi, and tired. I don't know if I have the will to do what must be done, I don't know how to keep going."[/color] She sighed, opening her eyes again as she looked at Alexina. [color=00aeef]"I'll just keep muddling on I suppose, but I don't know how long I can do this."[/color] A single tear traced a path down her cheek as she smiled softly. [color=00aeef]"Even I have my limits, I'm sorry."[/color] Alexina frowned at seeing her cry, even but a single tear. When she appologized she shook her head. [color=00a651]"You don't need to ever say sorry Lorelai. You just lost someone so close to you, it's understandable. A few birds who lose their lover just stop living, dying of a broken heart. It's natural to feel this way... I know I would feel the same if you were to..."[/color] She shook her head. "But You need to know that though I can't give you more time....I will be with you, supporting you forever." She tried to give a comforting smile and squeezed her hand. [color=00a651]"But just know... You are free to do what ever you wish now... You always have that choice. Leave this life... or fight medusa, and move on after that. Either way... Ill support you."[/color] Lorelai reached up and patted Alexina's cheek, cupping it lightly she smiled. [color=00aeef]"You're sweet, and cunning, even occassionally clever."[/color] She drew herself slowly to her feet. [color=00aeef]"If you were wise though, you'd run from me. Everything I touch turns to ash Lexi, everything."[/color] She sighed as she steadied her fatigued frame against the tree. [color=00aeef]"Maybe I'll leave this world once I'm sure Medusa's leadership won't be my family's downfall. I think not though, I don't think I have the descency to die."[/color] Alexina pushed her cheek into Lorelai's hand slightly, it felt good against her skin. She shook her head when Lorelai said to run from her, as everything turned to ash. Once she was finished she stood up as well.[color=00a651] "Running and hiding from someone I love, is not who I am. I am in control of my life...and though It may be a risk...it is my choice...and I choose to stand by you, in all your decisions... though I would not approve of you dying at all..." [/color] She folded her arms acrossed her chest. [color=00a651]" Despite how you feel now...just remember...things will get better... Even if a volcano turns everything to ash....life thrives upon the ash and and grows anew."[/color] Lorelai nodded. [color=00aeef]"Brave then."[/color] She turned to walk towards the camp. [color=00aeef]"I don't know if my frail heart can love again Lexi, but if it does... hopefully we'll still be here. Only time will tell the rest though."[/color] Alexina frowned at her words. Though she made sure Lorelai never saw it. Her shoulders fell and she said softly to her self. [color=00a651]"Well... I will be here then..." [/color]She closed her eyes as her heart shattered. Looks like Vespa did manage to keep Lorelai's love and attention... The two walked back to camp. Each with their own sorrows, and neither with much hope of relief in sight. Lorelai bid Alexina a good night as she climbed into her sleeper for some much needed rest, if she could hold back the nightmares. Alexina watched as Lorelai climbed into her sleeper... Wishing she knew what she could say to change her mind...but she was no fool...she knew Lorelai would be like this for a while...Vespa was close to her. But she meant every word she said that she would support her no matter what. She climbed up the nearest tree and found a nice branch to lay upon and wedge herself in while keeping Lorelai's sleeper in full view...She would not fall asleep... as her mind ran over thousands and thousands of possible things she could have said instead.... dreaming of the day when Lorelai would love her again....as She had loved her since they met. [/i] [hr] [sub] Collaboration with [@Ellion][/sub] [center][h1][u][i]"The breaking point"[/i][/u][/h1][/center] Alexina sat...alone still. At the edge of the forest still in site of the castle bloodrose. Surrounded by a pack of wolves all laying close by her, with one laying it's head on her lap, trying to comfort her as she stared into the darkness, tears in her eyes as she remembered that conversation she had with Lorelai while they traveled back to bloodrose castle. Now, she felt slapped in the face, she felt worthless...and helpless again. Oh she hated that feeling of being helpless.... though at the moment all emotion but sadness gripped at her heart as it shattered once again in a short period of time. She had just decided to go see Lorelai, and went to the castle to find her, only to find out from her animals that had located her, that Lorelai now shared a bed with Elina. Once again she was passed over as it were for Lorelai's love. He had to run. He had to get away. Something was wrong and he wanted to go to her. To Alyssa. But he needed air. He needed to clear his mind. Taran gritted his teeth as waves of nausea racked his body. As soon as he crossed the treeline at the edge of the forest, he collapsed on the forest floor, breathing hard, his eyes focusing on the canopy above him. Alexina was dragged from her thoughts as she heard running...and all the wolves lifted their head as well. Soon Taran had suddenly appeared, though he seemed to not even notice her. Even though he had fallen onto his back, breathing hard and looking up to the tops of the trees. She wiped her tears and sniffed, then she said softly. [color=00a651]"Taran....Are you alright??"[/color] Taran tossed himself up into a sitting position, visibly relaxing the moment he saw that it was Alexina . [color=708090]"Ah, Yes, I'm...Fine...Just... getting some air," [/color] he said, using his shirt to wipe the sweat off his forehead. More like, he was done talking about it. Instead he narrowed his eyes at the woman. [color=708090]"Alexina...have you....have you been crying?" [/color] She looked away when Taran ask if she had been crying and she straightened her shoudlers as if to gain some dignity back. "N-no..." she studdered. In a failed attempt to cover it up. Her face reddened at embarrasment that he saw it so quickly...if at all. [color=00a651]"I...Haven't been able to sleep lately..."[/color] She tried to lie, explaining her red eyes. Unwilling to let the problem return to him, Taran scooted closer to the witch. [color=708090] "I haven't been sleeping much either. What is causeing you to not be able to sleep? It has to be something,"[/color] he didn't want to give her the chance to shut down the conversation by saying [i]nothing[/i] She pulled back slightly, suddenly realizing that saying she couldn't sleep only opened the conversation more. Part of her wanted to blurt it out...to yell at the top of her lungs how betrayed she felt by Lorelai. But she did not want to just throw her problems out to the wind... She looked away again after glancing at Taran. [color=00a651]"I..."[/color] She grew quiet. [color=00a651]"Apparently.... I'm meant to be alone in this life..."[/color] she muttered softly.... hoping he didn't hear it. Taran was close enough that he did catch her whisper. [color=708090]"Alexina, what happened? " [/color] some how dealing with someone else's problem helped him feel better about his own. Alexina glanced at him and studied him for a moment... while she ran a hand over the wolf's head in her lap. She wanted to tell him more and more what happened...some one, anyone. But she still resisted. For a moment. But the tears welded up in her eyes as she thought of it again. How pathetic she was, stuck on one woman who really didn't love her for who she was... who didn't return her affection... When she was willing to overlook all of the sacrifices....because they were nessisary. [color=00a651]"Lo..."[/color] She paused as her throat clenched tightly and her eyes closed to hold back the tears.[color=00a651] " I just found out....the person I love.... and was waiting for....apparently doesn't love me the same way." [/color] [color=708090]"I am...sorry Alexina,"[/color] he couldn't really relate, in fact, he wished for that problem. [color=708090]"I don't think there is, but can I help you? Get you something, go with you somewhere?"[/color] he wasn't sure what people said in these moments. Probably not what he just said, but he was trying. She forced back her tears and stood up and shook her head.[color=00a651] " I don't think there is anything you can do Taran..."[/color] She looked towards the high towers of the castle that she could barely see She couldn't allow herself to be helpless anymore...But she couldn't force love on someone... She looked to her wolves who all stood up and started to walk away. [color=00a651]"Goodbye Taran...."[/color] She said as she started to walk away. Taran stood as he watched Alexina stand, watching her, trying read her movement. Her responce wasn't a surpise to him, there was very little that he could do in any situation and this one was more complex then most problems. Just as she started walking away, Taran sprinted behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her into a tight backwards hug. Saying nothing, but letting the sounds of the woods overtake them both. Alexina was so caught up in her thoughts she didn't even hear Taran run up behind her and wrapping his arms around her. She was startled of course...no one ever done that to her. She wanted to push him away, yet...her lonelyness started to feel as if it was melting away...it was warm and comforting. She did not expect this reaction of herself. She could feel tears breaking through once again. But she didn't pull away. She lacked the strength to pull away, so she stood there for what seemed like an eternity. But she finally did, and with out another word she ran away from him, she didn't know why...it had felt so good to feel someones touch once again...but her thoughts were not clear by any means. She had to just get away, anywhere but near Lorelai or Elina.