“It’s all set up?” Rob asked a stage hand, setting down the last of his drum hardware. The coolest part of these smaller venues were the knowledgable stagehands. Unlike huge venues, these people practically breathed these old buildings—knowing everything about acoustics, sound design, and more. Aaron had even been impressed, and impression Aaron in sound design was quite a hard feat.

“All set,” the stage hand said. Satisfied, Rob made his way back to the bar. He was nearly to Jane, who seemed to be talking to Andy and another guy. Something about the minimal interaction he had had with the frontman was beginning to bother him. The way Andy would look at him, he felt like…well, he supposed he felt like how Zoe felt about Jane. 

Frustrated that someone would dislike him for no clear reason or motive. But, still, Rob wanted to find a course of action that would make amends. He was nothing if not pragmatic, and touring with enemies with not a goal of his. 

He was just about in earshot of the bar, when a small hand wrapped itself around his wrist. 

Zoe pulled Rob around and motioned for the back door. 

“You’ll be playing an hour-long set here soon,” she said. “Don’t you think you could take a break from it?”

Rob shot one last look to the bar, before realizing he probably hadn’t had been noticed yet. Nodding, he followed Zoe to the door, slipping his hoodie on and sunglasses, and making a break for the Vicarious tour bus, and entering before a single soul could recognize either of them. Funny, how that worked out for them. The bassist of one band and the drummer of another could slip out in front of their own concert-goers, unnoticed. Rob was sure no matter how wrapped in clothing Jane got, she would be immediately recognized. Perks of being a rhythm section member, he supposed.

Inside of the bus, Rob and Zoe found themselves alone. Apart from the driver, who slept surprisingly still upright in his seat, each other person was either inside the venue or at some other location. 

Zoe moved to the back of the bus, where the large bed sat as opposed to bunks, and threw herself on it.

“Shit,” she muttered into the sheets. “I can’t deal with that many people. Gives me a headache.”

Rob sat down on the bed next to her. “I guess I’m just frustrated at why I’m already enemies with some of those people.”

Zoe lifted her head from the sheets and looked to Rob. “Get used to it. It seems to be a running thing with these people.”

After that, neither of them spoke for a bit, and Rob laid himself down onto the bed and closed his eyes. 

Zoe hooked her phone up to the speaker system set up in the room, and the odd meter and Radiohead-esque sounds of [url= https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c27kBVSfDl0]The Window by Thrice[/url] filled the room. Over the altering meter and beat, Rob could hear the words:

[i]I found a note scratched in the wall
In a pained and earnest scrawl
The hand I recognized was somehow mine already slight with dread
There's no wind and there's no light
There's no song in here at night
There's nowhere to hide, we're terrified
It's all inside of your head[/i]

And as the song devolved into the breakdown, and ringing guitars and syncopated hits filled the room, Rob found himself longing for this sort of sound to be meshed into the sound of In Bloom. Sure, what they had was strong, but it always felt like a constant battle between Rob’s and Jane’s desires for the sound to be a certain way. Especially these days. 

“So,” Zoe said soon after the song faded out, “I, uh, I don’t know how to ask this, but—“

“Jane,” Rob finished. Zoe’s silence was as strong as a confirmation from her.

“We’re doing good, I guess,” Rob continued. “We agreed on some better terms, so I think we’ll be far less dramatic going forward. I’m just glad for it since we’ll all be so close during this tour. …And I think that’s why the Andy thing frustrates me so much.”

“What terms?” Zoe asked simply. 

“We’re casual now, I guess,” Rob said. “And yeah, after all that bullshit I caused asking that of her in the first place, here we are again. Except this time I’ve got a little more peace about it.”

“You didn’t seem to have peace about it back in Minneapolis.”

“That just feels like so long ago,” Rob said. His eyes were locked to the ceiling, but he felt Zoe inching her body closer to his on the bed. “And I know that was hardly a week ago at this point, but trust me when I say I feel like a different person now than I did then.” 

“A lot has happened,” Zoe said, softer now. 

“Yeah,” Rob sighed. “I guess it’s just nice to decompress like this. After all the traveling and touring. We’re locked into a better schedule with much less hassle now. It’s—“

Rob cut himself off as he felt Zoe’s arm wrap around his torso. It was only then that Rob realized what Zoe was doing the whole time he was ranting.

“Zoe, I—“ Rob uttered out. He felt Zoe place her head on his chest, and rest there.

“We’re just decompressing,” she whispered. “It’s okay.”

Rob’s tension slowly left his body, and he instinctually raised a hand, sliding it into her hair. 
There was nothing wrong with what was happening. [i]So why did it feel wrong?[/i]

Rob’s eyes slowly shut, and neither of them moved for a few minutes. A knock came at the bus door after a while, and Zoe rose without a word to see what was happening. Rob quickly got up from the bed, and straightened himself out, before following Zoe to the door. 

“Look at this,” Zoe said, beckoning Rob to the window. 

Outside, two young german women were smiling and knocking on the door, trying hard to peer into the one-way glass that separated the outside world from the bus. Behind them, two security guards marched forward, probably wondering how the two girls had gotten this close to the bus. 

Zoe reached for the door handle. 

“Wait,” Rob said. “If they see I’m in here—“

“They’ll what?” Zoe asked, “Make some blog post about it? At this point, it doesn’t even matter.” 

Zoe opened the door before Rob could say anything else. She stepped outside of the bus, talking to the two girls and answering their questions as best she could. Rob slipped out of the bus as well, closing the door behind him and trying to keep a low profile.

Unfortunately for them, the rest of the waiting crowd had looked over to see the commotion, and soon, several of them made their way over. 

By the time those two security guards had made it, they could only keep watch, as Zoe and Rob both engaged fans, trying to make their way to the venue.

In all of the madness, Rob hear a few shouts of “Jane,” and “it’s her,” and looked up to see what was going on.

He could only just see the back of Jane’s head, as she walked away, towards the venue. [i]Why was she out here?[/i] 

“Alright, move back!” The security guys chanted, and moved Zoe and Rob from the crowd to the back door, letting them into the back of the venue. 

As soon as they had arrived, Zoe slipped into a green room labeled ‘Vicarious.’

“Catch up with you later,” she said. “Good luck!” 

The door closed quickly behind her, and Rob was left in search of Jane and his other band members.

He couldn’t shake the feeling that he felt this unnecessary guilt about what had happened. All the two had done was lay in a bed for a few minutes together. Why was he feeling this way? Perhaps it was because he saw Jane, or perhaps it had been because…he enjoyed it? 

So much for simplicity. 

“Where’ve you been?” A voice came from his right. Rob turned to see Sam, who tossed him a pair of sticks. “We’re about to go on.”

“Sorry,” Rob said, following him to the side of the stage. “It’s been weird today.”

—

During the set, Rob could help but notice Jane’s lack of enthusiasm on stage. No matter what was going on behind the scenes, Rob felt like Jane would always put on a great show. It was part of their act, and, if he was being honest, part of why they grew this large in this first place.

But here, on the first stop of the tour, Jane seemed to almost slur her words, hitting the notes but hardly doing much more than that. And the attitude seemed almost contagious, as Rob found himself keeping the tempo, rather than playing the part to satisfaction. 

When it was time to play Weatherman, Jane had introduced the song afterwards just moments before Rob was going to count them off. Austin shot a glance back to him, to which he could only shrug, and count them into the next song. It was sad, really, especially since Weatherman was one of the more fun covers they played.

Once the setlist finished, the band slipped off quietly, and Rob ended up grabbing a microphone and thanking everyone for coming out themselves. He then made his way to the back, grabbing a drink from the table.

“Where the fuck is Jane?” Austin asked, approaching the table as well. 

“I don’t know,” Rob said, “I haven’t talked to her much today. Did I miss something?”

“Not that I know of,” Austin shrugged off. “I was about to ask you the same thing.”

“Hey, guys?” Somebody asked behind them. Both men turned around to see their new busmate, Lyla, standing around with a bundle of XLR cords. “I could use some help with teardown.”

Rob nodded, and both of them went off, helping Lyla pack up their audio equipment, and tearing down their own stuff, before helping Aaron load the merch back onto the trailer connected to the bus. By the time the band was set to leave, it was the early hours of the morning, and Rob was pretty confident he had been awake for nearly 24 straight hours. 

Inside the bus, Grant was just beginning to warm the bus up for the trip to the next stop, and congratulated the band on the success of the first show. Rob thanked him, and slipped to the back of the bus.

A pile of clothes greeted him along the floor, and next to his head, Rob could see Jane had pulled herself into bed a while ago. In his own bunk, a joint lay on the clean sheets, and Rob silently thanked her for the gift, slipping it into his bag.

Within five minutes, Rob had brushed his teeth, torn off the clothes that had long since dried of sweat, and slipped into his bunk. 

For a first show, things had gone much less smoothly than he had hoped. He was working through fighting of feelings of monogamy, on top of the fact that a growing schism was forming between members of the two bands. On top of that, Jane had acted increasingly strange, and the two of them hadn’t spoken since earlier on the bus.

Was that going to be the new normal? Rough sex, then silence? Rob hoped not. Loosing one of the most constant people in his life was what Rob had feared the most. It was why he hesitated to tell her how he felt in the first place, why he mistakenly suggested the new terms of the relationship, and ultimately why he agreed to those terms in the first place. After all of that, things were still growing stranger by the day, and Rob had to admit to himself…it was only serving to make him long to be away from it all. 

He thought of Zoe as well. What they had done. How calm it had been. If only things were so simple with his own relationship. 

If only things were so simple with Jane.