[sub]in collaboration with [@Aerandir] and [@Ellion][/sub] [i][u][h1][center] Closed doors[/center][/h1][/u][/i] Lorelai's eyes opened to the sun's rays at first light. She was in a strange bed, and someone was draped over her chest. Her eyes followed the pale hand tucked between her breasts, down its owner's arm, until finally her eyes confirmed what her mind refused to accept. Elina's head lay on her shoulder, close enough that she could feel the girl's breath on her neck. Her silver hair cascaded down her side, and was the only modesty currently afforded to her other than the silken sheets of her bed. A content smile curved the girl's lips as she slept happily, breathing softly. Lorelai's chest warmed at the sight of her, her eyes wandering affectionately over her small frame. [i]What now?[/i] Lorelai internally examined her blooming affections, wondering if it was too late to kill them, or if it would be right to. Could she allow this to happen, should she allow this to happen? Once more her mind revealed nothing of use, none of her hard earned wisdom could be brought to bear. Lorelai gently worked herself out from under Elina, and pulled the sheets up to the girl's chin. She stooped to grace Elina's cheek with a lingering kiss as the girl stirred lightly. After retrieving her clothes from the floor at the foot of the bed and dressing herself Lorelai moved over to Elina's desk. While underused, the top of Elina's large oak desk currently bore parchment and ink. Lorelai sat and wrote; [i][color=00aeef]Elina, I apologize for not being here to greet you upon waking. As you know my duties are many, pressing, and rarely leave enough time for the direly needed comforts I could use in these times.[/color][/i] Lorelai examined her flowery penmanship briefly before continuing; [i][color=00aeef]While last night's passion was to serve a purpose, it was done with no small amount of affection from myself. Do not let my absence suggest anything less than that. When you read this please come find me.[/color][/i] She hesitated over the closing. Love? Sincerely? She'd already betrayed enough of her feelings. [i][color=00aeef]Yours, Lorelai Von'Strauss[/color][/i] it was true enough after all. For the time being her heart was at the whim of the silver-haired Ruvina, for better or worse. With that she stood and left the castle in favor for the fresh air of the surrounding forest. Hoping to gain some insight into how to proceed. [hr]Lorelai turned her face towards the sun filtering through the canopy over head. To think she'd share a night of passion with Elina, Vespa's sister, just over a week after her death. She was racked with guilt, confusion, and worst of all, her heart fluttered in an all too familiar dance. What should she have done? Elina was the last thing Lorelai had left of her love, and she couldn't let the girl languish in a deepening depression. Elina had looked more lively when speaking of learning her gift than she had in over a week, and Lorelai could hardly deny the silver-haired girl her wish. Which would have been the greater sin? Lorelai ran her hands through her hair. Finding a fallen log she elected to sit, at least long enough to gather her thoughts. Elina would wake soon, and find her note. If Lorelai didn't figure something out before then she feared this situation could only move farther beyond her control. Alexina was gone. The first person he had ever met that understood who he was had just left. A part of Taran had hoped that he would have been able to keep her from running off, but at the same time, he wasn't surpised when she took off running. He knew there was a chance, a very good chance that she might come back, she was after all a part of the coven, but it could be forever until she came back, months...years even. Letting out a sigh, Taran finally turned to face the castle, he couldn't avoid Alyssa and inside forever, and right now he didn't have the will to fight his heart. It was in too much pain. He had only been walking for a few minutes when he ran into yet another witch. "Lorelai!" He said, his voice disguising nothing. "Thank...Magic you are here. Something happened to Alexina. I think she is, well, she left and I couldn't stop her," he said quickly, hoping that Lorelai would figure out what he wanted her to do without having to explain it. [color=00aeef]"Lexi!?"[/color] Lorelai gave a small start as Taran's shout cut through her thoughts, Alexina was in trouble? Her mind immediately conjured up several horrific scenarios. She stood sharply, turning to Taran. [color=00aeef]"Explain on the way, and lead me to her."[/color] "Uh, sure," he said, looking back at the forest for a second, trying to rememeber which way the witch took off. Finally he picked a point and started running. "Um, I don't know... I came out here to get away from...uh... anyway Alexina was out here and she was upset because someone she loves doesn't love her back I think," The whole thing happened so quickly that it was hard to get the story straight. "She was crying, so I hugged her and she ....ran away," Lorelai's heart sank into the pit of her stomach as she realized what had happened. [color=00aeef]"Why is it that I can't seem to make any good choices this season?"[/color] It seemed that for every step she took something broke. She hadn't even sorted through her own thoughts about... last night, and already it had wounded Alexina. [color=00aeef]"We'll find her Taran."[/color] Lorelai kept pace with the boy as she reached out to inform her sentinels of their new target. [color=00aeef]"Let's just hope it's before she does something rash."[/color] [hr] Alexina did not run too far...just far enough to know she would lose Taran. She had came to a stop under an ancient oak tree, and leaned against it. She didn't know what to do...or to go to... She was so distraught at the thought of Losing Lorelai once again, then with her saying she didn't know if she could love again, only to bed with that whore Elina.... Her heart heavy and felt as it was broken in a thousand pieces. She wondered how she could live on, sitting alone in the forest while Lorelai slept with other women... she should just end it... that would take the pain away. She pushed her back against the tree and allowed the tears to flow from her eyes...her normal strong appearance now weak and vulnerable as she slowly slid down into a fetal position. She didn't even notice the sound of footsteps, or her animals warning her that they were approaching her. As Taran approached the woman from behind, a sudden panic hit him. What if brining Lorelai was the wrong thing to do. Maybe Alexina just wanted to be left alone to cry and pretend like nothing happened. He opened his mouth to speak, but his voice caught in his throat. He gave Lore a helpless look, unsure of what to say. Lorelai nodded at Taran, patting the boy's shoulder as she stepped into view. She paused to examine Alexina. The obvious pain she had caused the woman sent spears of guilt into her black heart. To think she could do this to someone, Alexina even, what dark days indeed. She approached the curled up witch slowly, kneeling beside her prone form. [color=00aeef]"Alexina... what troubles you?"[/color] Lorelai knew of course what had happened, but perhaps speaking her accusation would lessen the pain. [color=00a651]"DON'T"[/color] She pulled away from Lorelia as she asked her what troubled her. Anger flared into her heart as she looked at the ground.[color=00a651] "Don't act like you don't know... Don't add salt to the wound now... I know you slept with....Elina." [/color] [color=00aeef]"Why must you hear everything Alexina? The animals bring you news, with little context, so that you can conjure up horrors from the depths of your imagination."[/color] Lorelai pressed her fingers to her eyelids in frustration. Why is it that everything she did seemed to immediately reach Alexina? [color=00aeef]"Would you like me to explain [i]why[/i] I slept with her? Or are you satisfied with your own theory?"[/color] Alexina glared at the grass below her....She wanted to be mad, she had to be mad. But Lorelai did bring up a good point that her friends could never always give details.... but NO she enjoyed it... she always did with Vespa...and Elina was her twin, and with it so close to Vepsa's death, it couldn't be for any other reason. She was silent for a bit as she thought it over... her anger won over.[color=00a651] "Im sure its along the same lines.... " [/color]She said with a bit a venom in her voice. But she left it open for her to explain it anyways. [color=00aeef]"Are you now?[/color] Lorelai narrowed her eyes at Alexina's back. [color=00aeef]"What are those lines Alexina? Tell me what you think happened."[/color] Alexina glanced over to her and after a moment looked away. She knew deep down, that she was wrong... but her anger still won out..[color=00a651] "It's because they are so 'civilized' compared to me... that Elina is so close to being Vespa, being her sister and all. It's only Logical you would want to be with her...I mean you left me for Vespa in the first place... Elina would be the next best thing. compared to a crazy woman in the forest who doesn't belong anywhere..." [/color]She said, her venom in her voice growing weaker. as she wrapped her arms around her legs and held them close to her chest. [color=00aeef]"You're not [i]crazy[/i], and the fact that you're uncivilized has never bothered me."[/color] Lorelai took a seat near the red-headed witch. [color=00aeef]"It would be easy to tell you that Elina wanted to learn demon-binding, and that to bestow her with the gift I had to... well, I'm pretty sure you know what happened last night."[/color] She sighed. [color=00aeef]"It's true after all, if not the whole truth."[/color] Lorelai gave Alexina a sad smile. [color=00aeef]"Vespa haunts me in Elina, to say otherwise would be a lie. I... I can't let Elina languish Alexina, she's tried to kill herself once already. I can't fail Vespa's last blood, the sister she fought so hard to protect."[/color] Lorelai turned her head away. No longer able to bear eye contact with Alexina. [color=00aeef]"I... I don't know what to do. I think I damned myself last night, but what should I have done? Why... why can't I seem to get any of this right?"[/color] Alexina felt a pang of guilt when Lorelai explained that she coudln't get anything right. Her shoulders relaxed dispite her wanting to stay mad, as she almost fell back into her old routine of supporting Lorelai. But her comment from before about letting Elina Languish struck a cord with her. She stood up and with out looking at Lorelai said,[color=00a651]"i've been Languishing this last year and a half....in this forest. Alone waiting for the day for things to go back to the way they where. But that will never be. I...I can't do this anymore...."[/color] She said as she placed a hand over her mouth. As tears began to form again. As she just no realized how this last year or so had affected her. [color=00aeef]"What now then?"[/color] Lorelai spoke softly. [color=00aeef]"I... I don't have a remedy for a broken heart. I'd give you my body if it would heal your wounds, but we both know it won't. I'd tell you I love you, and I do, but not quite in the way you want me to."[/color] She leaned back against the tree. [color=00aeef]"My thoughts can barely be said to reside within my mind anymore Alexina. My heart is not my own anymore, and it's damaged beyond recognition. Why you loved me once I'll never know, but I'm not someone that deserves that love, or your tears, any longer."[/color] Alexina's eyes closed as she confirmed her fears, She didn't know what to say. She was in shock, as her heart some how impossibly shattered even more. Tears flowed from her eyes, though she did not sob outwardly. She just remained silent, facing away from Lorelai. She was silent for what seemed like hours, but only for a few moments. [color=00a651]"Fine...." [/color]She didn't know what to say....she wanted to say something hurtfull...but at the same time she couldn't think of anything or on the other side she didnt' want to.[color=00a651] "Just go back...You don't need to worry about me anymore... just go and be happy with your 'pets' and child and Elina..."[/color] She bit her lip hard as she squeezed her eyes tight. Drawing blood from her lips as she started to walk away from Lorelai. [color=00aeef]"I'm sorry Alexina."[/color] Lorelai wanted to stop her, to say something that would somehow heal her. She had nothing, there were no magic words she could use to mend the woman's heart. Instead she simply watched her back as she left. When it was just her and Taran she turned back towards the castle. Whether spoken of spite or kindness Lorelai intended to honor Alexina's words. She'd play with Lotte, talk to Liz and Coraline, and... something with Elina. Someday this pain would be a distant memory for her, she could only hope the same would be true for Alexina.