[center][color=82ca9d][h1][u][b]Ivy Aspen[/b][/u][/h1][/color]
[h2]“Girl vs. Bird-Fuckers, part I.”[/h2]

Stick. Ground. Blanket thing.

Turned out that setting up a pathetic fake tent wasn’t so hard after all. And even better — it was all happening in glorious, glorious silence.

See? It’s not that hard to take a hint, right? Her new, enormous companion had terrible hair and had clearly made some terrible choices in regards to sticking metal bits into his body, but at least he knew when to stop flapping his mouth.

Stick. Ground. Blanket thi—

[i]Flap-flap-flap-flap-flap.[/i]

…what was that sound?

Ivy paused. Giant Boy hadn’t even looked up. No one else seemed to be doing anything. So maybe…

Maybe she’d just… keep doing what she was doing?

Stick. Ground. Blanket thi—

Tesla growled, slow and menacing, and pawed at her leg. She stopped again and ran a hand through his fluffy coat.

Exhibitionist nodded at her. He seemed a little, well… friendlier than before?

[color=1a7b30]“Than--!!”[/color] he started, and then a dark shape swooped down from above, and suddenly—

There was slimy, sticky white bird shit dripping down the side of Giant Boy’s face.

Ivy choked. 

[color=82ca9d]“Um—“ [/color]she started, unsure what to say, but all of a sudden the older boy’s face was aflame with pure, unadulterated… [i]hatred[/i].

He looked like a true Prince of Hell. Lord Tesla approved.

But the flapping was only getting louder… and louder… and suddenly Ivy was acutely aware of the fact that they were completely surrounded by Hoothoots. It looked like there were [i]hundreds[/i] of them.

This… this just wasn’t right.

Out came Exhibitionist’s dog-thing, and suddenly there was fire everywhere. Exhibitionist picked up a stick and started trying to beat a Hoothoot to death. Then his Houndour set the unlucky creature on fire.

And… was he, uh… cackling?

It was hard to know what to do in this situation.

Then a Hoothoot darted out of the gloom and caught her right across the face, claws out. 

It stung like a bitch. Ivy raised a slow, unsteady hand to her cheek… it came away dripping red. 

Oh hell no.

Suddenly, she knew exactly what to do.

[color=82ca9d]“Tesla,”[/color] she said, in the slowest, calmest voice of doom on this side of the planet. [color=82ca9d]“Thunder Wave. Thunder Wave everything.”[/color]

And [i]Thunder Wave everything[/i], Tesla did. There was a crackle and a burst as a wave of electricity pulsed through the clearing. A few dozen birds squawked in alarm, suddenly finding it much harder to fly.

Then Ivy picked up the biggest stick she could find, and an absolutely expressionless face—

[h3]THWACK.[/h3]

—she whacked the nearest bird-fucker like she was hitting a homerun. It flew off the end of her stick and smacked against a nearby tree, before falling limply to the ground.

This was a pretty good stick. It was bigger than Noah’s, and it wasn’t on fire, no, but that problem was easily solved by dipping the tip of it into the burning grass left behind in the Houndour’s wake.

[color=82ca9d]“Let’s go,” [/color]she said, with just the tiniest trace of raw, spiteful fury filtering through her otherwise emotionless voice.[color=82ca9d] “You paralyze, I whack.”[/color]

Thunder Wave.

[h3]THWACK.[/h3]

Another Hoothoot got a faceful of burning branch. In its place appeared three more asshole birds, like the world’s most obnoxious baseballs. Like the Terminator on rampage mode, Ivy didn't even blink. With perfect technique, she just whacked, and whacked, and whacked.

Thunder Wave.

[h3]THWACK.[/h3]

Thunder Wave.

[h3]THWACK.[/h3]

Thunder Wave.

[h3]THWACK.[/h3]

Giant Boy was doing a pretty great job of turning their clearing into hell-on-earth [sub]and earning himself a special place in Tesla’s heart[/sub].

But, well… destroying things?

You won’t get very far as a baker without learning how to cause some blunt force trauma with a rolling pin, y’know. And Ivy was aiming to be Johto’s best.

LET THE MADNESS BEGIN.

Thunder Wave.
[h3]THWACK.[/h3]

Thunder Wave.

[h3]THWACK.[/h3]

Thunder Wave.

[h3]THWACK.[/h3]
[/center]