[@OrangeInk] Yeah that's fine underneath.

[@boomlover] It's long enough, and it's detailed enough. Just at the Three Day war you rush it a little bit which is what I'm having problems with, and having problems following the events above Mars and why he was selected. Flesh out a little bit more that he gave the order to abandon ship (give some reason for the kamikazee other than rage as well, throw in a reactor problem or something) and then have him in the Navy post Three Day War when it was reforming to include the Unity, Feds and Cons (Maybe that coupled with the death of his uncle is why he responds poorly to officers?).

Advanced doesn't necessarily mean long, just well thought out. 

It's looking better, still a couple of typos. Include him giving the order to evacuate, just to let other people know and please remove the whole crashing into the asteroid thing. Finally, I'd advise running it through a spellchecker, there's a couple of small errors in there, so just to tidy it up a bit throw it through one.