Lexa didn't have the energy to scoff when Luca called Trick a hero. But [i]boy[/i] did she want to. She did manage to glance up at Jack in curiosity when he defended Black Jack so vehemently. So someone had a crush. She idly wondered if it had to do with their matching names. Then Jack turned his attention back to her and her distraction was gone.

She looked down at her drink. Opened her mouth to say that she was fine. Then promptly closed it because what was the point of a lie that ridiculous? Besides, he'd been decent and patient with her, and surprisingly attentive. She wasn't sure if she appreciated that or not. But he deserved her honesty at least. Lexa took another sip of her drink, the warm burn of alcohol a needed comfort.

[color=crimson]"I… used to get these nightmares as a kid,"[/color] she said after a time, her eyes never leaving her glass. Honestly, she'd forgotten about them until just now. She hadn't had them since she was young, even after her family died. But as she spoke, memories trickled back to her, as vivid as they'd ever been. [color=crimson]"Never remembered them. Just… pain. And fear. Sometimes anger. My parents couldn't ever manage to wake me up when they happened. I'd just scream for hours until I woke up on my own. My throat would be bleeding and my voice would be gone, but I'd just keep going. Got us kicked out of a few apartments because of it. 'S why my voice rasps now."[/color] It felt like she was talking about someone on a screen, a made up character in some story. It didn't feel like her. Lexa was numb to it. She let out a quiet breath, fingers tracing the faint scratches on her glass. [color=crimson]"Today…  I felt like I was in a nightmare again. But I was awake for it this time."[/color] 

She started to turn her head to look back at Jack but stopped herself at the last second. Forced her eyes back down. Lexa didn't want to look at him. She didn't want him to look at [i]her[/i] and see some fragile, crumbling thing in her eyes. She was tired of being fragile. Lexa steeled her gaze, frustrated at herself. Her hand brought the glass to her lips to take another sip when–

[i][color=crimson]To hell with nursing it.[/color][/i]

Lexa downed the rest of the glass. She let her hand fall back to the bar, the glass hitting it with a dull thud. The alcohol burned down her throat, to her stomach, branching out within her body, warming her. She winced a bit at the sensation, the heady taste skewing her mouth into something close to a grimace. She pulled herself back together and finally looked back up at Jack.

[color=crimson]"So you're some big fan of Black Jack's,"[/color] Lexa forced the subject change, half because she needed to [i]not talk about this[/i] but the other half because… she found herself genuinely curious. [color=crimson]"What's his deal?"[/color] Lexa had no idea what to make of the… well, the only description that seemed to fit at the moment was 'pain in her ass.' He certainly wasn't a hero. She was reluctant to say he wasn't a villain. But perhaps… not as reluctant as she'd been that morning. Before…

Before there'd been something almost human to him. Almost compassionate with her when everyone else only had fear.

Before she'd become a killer like him.

Lexa supposed maybe that just meant they both belonged in jail.