Rob’s low-flying panic attack had quickly subsided, leaving him with a terrible confusion. Why had he been so fearful to discuss this before? Why did he feel so terrible when it had come up so fast? 

Jane approached, seemingly trying her best for apologize for being so forward sexually. It was one of the things Rob hated discussing, because sex with Jane had always been some of the best he had ever had. But he couldn’t shake off the feeling that, at least in the past few days, that his only interactions with Jane were sexual, and it was not the reason Rob desired her so much. Long conversations alone in her room, discussing everything and anything and nothing, all at once—that was what drove them here. What drove him to be with her like this in the first place. If he was honest with himself, the past few days felt more like being casual with Zoe than with Jane. And it was not a feeling he was comfortable with. 
	
“I feel so terrible for admitting that,” he admitted. “About the sex thing. It’s my fault I forget it’s how you’ve expressed yourself for so long. I don’t get why I can’t just be like other guys and not complain that I get laid so often with you.” He laughed to himself at the statement. “I guess I just miss the normality so I blame that. Which, again, isn’t right of me.” 

He took her hand and raised to his own two feet, slowly getting back to his old self. His own ways. Even just this quiet moment of solidarity with Jane was enough to remind him of what was important. Of what he should have been fighting for. 

“I want you, Jane Molloy,” he essentially declared. The words felt so incredibly greedy in his mouth, but he hoped she would know what he meant. “Physically, yes, but romantically as well. Maybe if I just admitted that for the both of us, a lot of this shit would pass.” 

It sure wasn’t a line he could see Ryan Gosling using, but it was what Rob had. It was how he felt. He moved forward, pulling Jane in for a hug, feeling her warmth, missing her. And for this moment, that lingering feeling of Zoe being in the room with them faded away, and Rob felt finally together with Jane for the first time in such a long time. No matter how fleeting this would be, it was peaceful, and it was what he wanted. 

A part of him he had barely recognized soon came forth. He lifted Jane from the ground easily, pulling her into her arms, carrying her into the bedroom. Something about the swell of honestly, the solitude both had together in this room, and the madness of events that took place outside of it, triggered something in Rob. Because he knew that the ebb of flow of their relationship would surely come again. And perhaps it always would. But this trip, this tour, everything…everything seemed so small and sparse from here. So distant and meaningless. Everything that mattered was in here, with him, on the sheets of the bed. And he could never know when the tide was going to turn again. 

So fuck it.

—

Afterwards, Rob cleaned up quickly and was surprised to find that this hotel had been fully stocked for them. Perhaps it was a peace offering from the hotel, or maybe from Harold, but either way, the surprise was not wasted on him. 

He decided that instead of bothering to go out for dinner, that the two could just cook it themselves. Rob had never been much of a cook, so flower and oil seemed to continuously spill onto the countertops as he worked, trying to fight their way onto the floors below. 

Rob had suggested the two make pasta as a base (since, to be honest, Rob had no idea what the hell he was doing) and work from there to add things to the meal. In the cabinets, Rob had found Alfredo sauce, thawed sausage and even some frozen shrimp he was desperately trying to de-thaw. He was currently trying to stir sauce to the beat of [url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2a4lm6XILQ]Mona Lisa by Colour Revolt[/url] which played on his speaker behind him—cycling through favorites of his and Jane’s. 

And sure, the whole affair seemed like a generically romantic thing to do, but to be fair, he was hungry. And being able to spend this time with Jane alone was something he planned to take full advantage of.