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Welcome to some more Fourth of July Hunger Games! The War between the States has came to an end and the bridge remains solidly in the defenders hands. Bodies have fallen, and we have whittled down the men from the dead men. The conclusion is not far away, but we still have time, so lets see what happens.

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Ron Swanson isn't handling the war well. It has had its effects and now he wanders aimlessly from stereotypically redneck bar to stereotypically redneck bar, gettin' fucked up and picking fights with guys named 'Cletus'. Pocahontas receives literature revealing that the best way to experience the colors of the wind is to deregulate industrial pollution and hold your breath when the colors moan past you. The WBC shares one beer amongst the church, knowing that too many beers can lead to stickin' it in each other's poopers and god doesn't like that. Hogan, his bowels still grey with confederacy, is happy that he lives in a world where one man can swallow whole a war-leader without the law mingling in their business. 

Lafayette and Betty White spend a quiet moment wondering how evolution can explain talking hotwings or communist burgers, and considers this evidence of a higher power. The Hot Wings themselves strip off their deep-fried skins and lay bare their juicy flesh and join Nic Cage as part of the Battle-Snowden's harem. MLK had a dream, but the dream is dead, and he experiences America in the 21st way.

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Stuff appears! Many of our patriotic tributes eschew checking out the feast. The WBC is selected by an alien race for some hyper-ironic probing and we never have to deal with them again. MLK comes over the mountain and fucks up a young native girl for some rare bison steaks. Snowden gets his murder on and drives a bullet right into the hungry gullet of Hulk Hogan. peperony and chease. Snowden gains the belt! Also, Nic Cage dies in the way most typically experienced in the US. peperony and chease

So that'll be that for now. We don't have many of these left so it is a good time to start placing bets on who will win.