[@NuttsnBolts]Demonic stuff is always fun.

So what I'm about to go on about isn't exactly bitching, more just me expressing something I'm paranoid about. I'm hoping some of you all will get it, because it's a little... odd.

Basically, I'm worried about meta-gaming in a backassward way, especially with the point that my current roleplay is at. Basically, I love doing very story-driven roleplays, especially the ones I GM. I want there to be an end goal in mind, and I want all the different threads that other people add to tie together into the overall plot. That's not to say I'm railroading everyone, which is another paranoia of mine; I want people to be able to breathe with their characters and truly add in a significant way to everything, but that's another issue entirely.

Anyway, with the point we've reached in my current roleplay, the group ended up going together (for the most part) to meet a character who is blah blah blah the most tied in character blah blah blah major ally blah blah blah exposition blah. Basically, she's a plot character, and meeting her for the first time allowed her to catch everyone up to speed on the things going on in one fell swoop; some of the greater antagonists, what they've done, more torrential exposition. Anyway, funnily enough she did this already to another two characters who were by themselves at the time, so the rest of the group hadn't heard the information. That meant a lot of it was repeated, but I had to find a way to make it engaging again and not copy what I had her say before, but again, another problem.

Anyway, we're finally getting to the paranoia at hand, I kept getting worried I wasn't explaining things enough. It had a little to do with the fact I had explained it all through her once before, yeah, but I was mostly paranoid that I was unintentionally holding things back because I was assuming people already knew it because I knew it. So yeah, it was some backassward metagaming foul I was trying to avoid; rather than using information the actual players have but their characters didn't, I was worried I was withholding information the characters should know because I was assuming the players themselves would know it, which was a trainwreck and a half piled on top of a beached whale.

I tried avoiding it by actually showing it to a person who is planning on joining the roleplay but hasn't yet, seeing if it was enough to get them caught up to speed. Only when they had no questions did I actually feel comfortable posting the roleplay equivalent of a recap episode, but still every once in awhile I find myself grinding my teeth about it, which is why I posted about it here.

I hope that makes even a tiny bit of sense, but it's honestly so ridiculous I couldn't help but share. One of my roleplayers called me neurotic once, and I suppose I just really fit the bill.