Just had an idea about Urtelem society. They're hermaphrodites, but so far I've been assuming that Urtelem have gender (Matriarch, Stoneman). Obviously most of that would be other races perceiving them a certain way, but what if Urtelem [i]do[/i] have gender, as a spectrum based on age and family position? The further they are from a parenting role, the more male a pronoun they're assigned.

'Male' at birth and through childhood.
'Female' as they reach reproductive age, fuse, and raise a newborn.
'Male' as the baby (pebble?) matures and between pairings, before they're ready for another child.
'Female' for those who are past reproductive age (probably like 600 years?) but are considered 'mothers' of the whole herd- Matriarchs.
'Male' for those who play a passive role in guiding the group once they become elders.

When a matriarch dies, one of the 'male' elders becomes a 'female' matriarch and takes over.

[s]...i'm not obsessed with worldbuilding you're obsessed with worldbuilding[/s]