Hey, so safe haven right? Don't really expect a response, but I've been struggling the last few days as it's recently come to my attention that I've never fully accepted the sexuality that I am. I've always been thinking "hey I'm straight. I'm a girl, so liking guys is what I'm supposed to do." I do have a gay brother and I never once thought he was wrong for it, but I always had my mom in my ear saying how I was her last chance for grandkids...and so like it's been drilled into me that I need to be straight. 

So here I am dating guys, finding girls attractive in the same ways I would the counterpart male. Never really entertained the idea of being bisexual in anyway. Up until recently I was pretty content just saying gender doesn't matter and whoever I loved then I loved. Well a couple days ago I've decided that I am in fact bisexual and I really thought I was okay with the whole conclusion, not telling anyone, but I've found I'm not and I guess I needed to just let people know that this is me. I'm like really terrified of the whole thing even though it's more accepted. I've always heard how bi people aren't real you're either straight or gay and it's like no...I've only told two people and I felt like I was okay with that, but I find myself getting panic attacks over the whole realization and this was noted as a positive space.

Sorry for the long rant, I've had a really big struggle even writing this and now you can go on about your day.