Jane had reluctantly made her way back to the bus to see that Rob had yet to return from his interview, let alone call her back. “Sam?” she called out as she walked down the aisle to find him laying down in his bunk. “Any word from the guys?”

“No, not yet,” Sam shook his head. “More shit online though.”

“What [i]now[/i]?” she groaned as she took his phone from his hands. This time, it had nothing to do with Jane and Andy, but Zoe and Rob. A picture of the two on a bench, seemingly unhappy with each other, then one of Rob vomiting outside of the van, and then another of his encounter with the overbearing fan. Jane scrolled back up to the top image – of him and Zoe – and read the words that detailed a supposed break-up, with Zoe being the instigator. 

She handed back the phone and ran her fingers along her scalp. “Fuck, man. I didn’t know it happened like that.” It was true, her and Rob really never discussed what happened between him and Zoe; Jane had always just assumed that he was the one that ended things between them. Obviously, she was wrong.

“I didn’t either,” Sam chimed in, turning off his phone screen and shutting his eyes. “What’s it matter, though?”

“What do you mean?” Jane asked, annoyance in her voice. 

“I don’t know, J. You’re off doing your own thing with Andy. What difference does it make what happened between the two?” 

She rolled her eyes. “Whatever, Sam,” she mumbled as she headed towards her bunk, but immediately got the urge to vomit once again, and she made a detour to the bathroom. 

After she finished, Sam came up behind her as she was wiping her mouth. “Pregnant?”

“No,” Jane replied quickly. “Just my nerves.” 

“Got it,” Sam said flatly. “Look, I know we’re not that close or anything. But I know you well enough by now to give you a piece of advice.” 

“Yeah?” Jane said sarcastically as she looked up to him. “What’s that?”

“I think life would be a lot easier for you if you would just start being honest with yourself.” And with that, Sam grabbed his phone from his bunk and exited the bus, letting a blast of cool air in from the weather. 

Jane clenched her fists until she heard the bus’s door close behind him as if it would keep her from yelling something at him that she’d later regret. It wasn’t that Sam was wrong, but rather Jane having to hear a harsh truth she wasn’t ready for that pissed her off. She knew that the days of maintaining blissful ignorance towards the people around her were coming to an end and that she would soon be slapped with reality.

But Jane didn’t want that moment to be right now, so she quickly closed the door to the bathroom, brushed her teeth, and splashed some water on her face so that she would look more awake before quietly opening the door and stepping out into the aisle. No one had arrived yet, [i]thank God[/i], and Jane quickly grabbed her bag and dashed out the bus’s door. Sam’s voice could be heard yelling after her, but she didn’t go back. 

On the other end of the lot, Jane could see a cab pulling in, and her heart began to thump loudly in her ears as she walked around to the back of the bus, waiting until Rob and Austin entered it. Another minute or two passed – they seemed like hours – then the taxi she had called finally arrived. She nearly dove into the backseat, taking a deep breath and moving her hair from her eyes to see the man up front staring at her.

“Where to?” 

“Um,” she bit her lip. “Just downtown. Anywhere there.” 

“Okay.” The man began to pull out of the lot, and as Jane looked over to Vicarious’ bus, she saw Andy step out and give her a look of both concern and confusion, to which she only turned her head. Another person she didn’t want to deal with right now. 

[center]*****[/center]

Jane had been aimlessly walking around the city for a few hours by now, drinking from a flask that was in her bag from the night before. She had even stopped in to a drugstore and got a pregnancy test, which now sat unopened in the bottom of her purse. [i]Definitely[/i] something she wasn’t going to deal with right now. 

Her sunglasses concealed her eyes, puffy from random bouts of crying, as she stepped into a pub off the street and sat down at the bar.  

“What can I get for you?” a younger man with a thick, German accent asked as he set a coaster in front of her. 

“Rum and coke, please,” she replied quietly without looking up. 

“Ah, [i]American[/i],” he began as he grabbed a glass from the wall behind him, “Here with school?” 

Jane snorted. “No.” She looked up to him and smiled faintly. “Tour. I’m, uh, I’m in a band.” 

“Oh, I think I’ve seen the flier. Vicarious and um… what was the other one called?” He placed the finished drink in front of her.

“Thank you. And In Bloom. That’s my band.” 

“You’re the girl I saw in the internet, no? Making out with some guy?” The man smiled as he leaned on an elbow in front of her. 

“Unfortunately, yes. And that’s not even my boyfriend.”

“Well, now I know why you’re drinking this early,” he winked. “A friend invited me to your show tonight. Said both bands are pretty good.” 

“Yeah, well I don’t know if Vicarious will be playing with all the drama going on. That was their vocalist in the picture with me. And the other girl, Zoe, well, the picture of her was with my boyfriend.” She sighed, but chuckled right after. “We’re all a mess.” 

“Wow,” he shook his head. “That’s pretty confusing. You’re in an open relationship?”  

Jane shrugged. “I think so. I mean, yes. But everything’s so complicated, I don’t know what the rules are anymore.”  

“Well,” the bartender started, “you don’t look like a girl who follows the rules too much.” 

[center]*****[/center]

The bartender stayed in a flat above the pub, and that was where Jane ended up after another drink or two downstairs. The flat was also where she began the second leg of her journey through this city, after of course, sleeping with him. His name was Conrad, a thirty-two year old who actually owned the pub, and had also dabbled in DJing over the years, a subject that Jane didn’t pay attention to as he spoke about it. 

Yes, he was nice. And yes, the sex was decent, but it all offered only a fleeting moment of happiness in the midst of all the chaos that not only surrounded her, but her bandmates as well. And after that moment of satisfaction passed, it was as if she was worse off than when she started. Guilt was now added on the list of everything Jane was feeling. 

Well, [i]more[/i] guilt. 

Her phone had been vibrating all afternoon, and she reluctantly pulled it out to check what she had missed. 

[i][b]Missed calls:[/b][/i]
[i]Harold, 8:43 AM[/i]
[i]Harold, 9:37 AM[/i]
[i]Andy, 10:45 AM[/i]
[i]Harold, 11:32 AM[/i]
[i]Andy, 12:19 PM[/i]
[i]Harold, 2:56 PM[/i]
[i]Harold, 3:31 PM[/i]

No Rob. 

She decided against looking at the eleven texts she had waiting, but instead to get the call to Harold out of the way. She could imagine him pacing around his ocean-view office, red in the face, and frantic with all of the news that hit the internet, and it made her laugh. 

“Hey, Harold, sorry,” Jane said, but stopped after knowing that he would interrupt her.

“What the [i]fuck[/i] is going on over there, Jane? I’ve been trying to reach you all day. I’m getting calls left and right about the pictures, and Rob hasn’t talked much to me either. Are you guys sleeping with members from Vicarious?” He spoke quickly, but the harsh tone he used was the one that Jane had grown accustomed to when she got his calls. 

“Yes.” Not only was she drunk, but she was growing tired of answering to Harold as if he was her father. “I’ve been fucking Andy, and Rob’s been with Zoe. That ended though.” 

“Jesus Christ, Jane,” he nearly screamed. “Could you guys not fuck [i]one[/i] thing up? Vicarious won’t answer any of my calls either, so I have no idea if they’re dropping tonight. Sam hasn’t been able to give me much information. What am I supposed to tell all of these people?”

“Harold, I need you to send me my insurance information,” Jane demanded calmly.

“W-what?” Harold was taken aback by the change in subject. “No, Jane. Just tell me your symptoms and we’ll ask your doctor here.”

“That’s not gonna cut it this time, Harold. Send me the information, please.” 

“Whatever. Fine. But, please tell me what I’m supposed to do with this mess.”

Jane sighed. “Um, I don’t know.” She scratched at her head, not knowing if what she was about to do was a bright decision or not. “Tell them it was my fault. That I was the reason that Rob was all fucked up in that picture, and-and that the reason him and Zoe looked angry at each other was because he was venting about me. And…” she took a deep breath, “that what happened with Andy was a onetime thing. I don’t know, Harold, just make [i]me[/i] take the brunt of it. I’m used to it.” 

They both sat in silence for a moment before he finally spoke up. “Okay.” Then, the call ended there. 

Jane wasn’t sure how it would go down, or how they’d react, but she did know that she still didn’t want to go back to the bus. She would probably regret telling Harold to spin everything to put the blame on her, but she felt as if she deserved it. Not only did she have to deal with Andy and what exactly their relationship was, and what truly happened between Rob and Zoe, but now she had slept with someone else. Granted, it didn't mean anything at all; Jane had simply just regressed back to her old ways of dealing with her issues. Which, really, wasn't dealing with them at all. 

And the fucked up part of it all was, the person that she ran away from this morning was the only person she had wanted to be with all day. Call it pride, call it stupidity, but she couldn't force herself back to the bus, so she searched and searched until she found a small, quiet coffee house and decided that she'd stay there until she could go to the venue for load in. Perhaps she'd know what to say to Rob then.