Crixus sat silently in the chair, his head was leaned back his eye's closed but he was not sleeping but merely thinking. Not as much of the woman before him but of other things that conflicted his mind. The darkness behind his eyelids seemed almost like a movie theater playing a film, the images flashing past him like film from a camera.


[i]"Aren't you ever lonely?”

Crixus sat with his knee's to his chest, his back leaned against the old stone wall of the Hogwarts entrance hall. His eye's were trained on the ground, his arms and legs trained on his knee's. The question went through his mind as he thought about what answer he might give, but the truth was that there was no answer to the question because he did not know what anything else felt like. Crixus sat there for what seemed like forever staring at the floor before he finally looked up at Kate who had her eye's trained on his. She had that look in hers, the same look she had when she was trying to break through to him, get inside and try to help him. He knew already she would not easily give up, if at all so he would just have to answer the question.

“I don't know what it feels like to not be lonely Kate so I can not honestly answer your question. I am not like you, I am not popular, I am not outgoing, I am not loved by someone... I am just... me.”

Kate shook her head slowly indicating that she was not going to accept the same old answer he always gave when she tried to talk with him. She slid her back down the wall and sat next to him, she raised her arm and put it around his neck as she shook him, and tried to cheer him up, make him smile, do anything really. Crixus turned his head once again to meet her gaze before she spoke:

“Loves not all its cracked up to be Crixus, in a way I envy you for not knowing it. Love is very complicated and causes nothing but trouble. An you always worry about that special person and you go through everything with them knowing you can't take away their pain.”

Crixus looked at Kate she smiled her famous smile that had become one of her three top gestures which told you to stop moping a cheer the heck up before she bopped you on the head.

“From the way you describe it, it sounds like its not worth loving anybody. It just sounds like you go through more pain then you do if your just alone. But... it doesn't really matter for me anyways, I don't even... know what love would feel like none the less find it.”

Kate bopped him over the back of his head with her palm, he cringed at the shot which was direct and meant as a subtle wake up call. He looked away from her as he trained his eye's back on the ground listening to her speak again:

“You know what love is, we all do Crixus, we are all born knowing exactly what love is, you just have not given yourself the chance to see it. Love is many things at once, its a good feeling even if there is also bad. Its butterflies in your stomach, its that feeling deep inside that's warm and good, its... a feeling that you find when you least expect to find it. Its that one person you want to share your life with, to tell them all the little things deep down inside that your afraid to tell anyone else... even your best friend.”

Crixus felt a tear falling down his cheek as he didn't bother to wipe it away, he was tired, so very tired of not feeling like there was any reason to exist. A lot of people wanted money, or to be rich or famous... all he ever wanted was someone who saw him the same way he saw himself, deep on the inside.

“I am lonely Kate, I have always been that way, I sit here and watch the world pass by, I see people together with each other... I see the affection and I see the feelings they have for each other. An even more so it hurts to know that I can't feel it too.  I don't know how to even begin to try, all I can ever see when I wake up each day is my past... a dark past that no one would understand. I see a bleak and desolate gray world that has no color. I walk through life just a virtual ghost, and no one ever see's me... you remain to be the only one who saw me in the darkness. You sacrifice so much more and getting nothing in return, and I don't understand even why you do this. I thought maybe it was love but I know its not because it still hurts deep down inside.”

Crixus wiped the tears from his cheeks as he felt a soft hand grab his chin, his head was turned sideways as his eye's meant Kate green orbs, she was smiling again.

“It is love silly just a different kind, its a love we all have when we find someone who needs us even if that person is not that one special person we spend our lives with. No one is destined to walk their entire life alone Crixus, not even someone like you. An if you want to know, I sacrifice for you because I choose too, I truly believe deep in my heart that one day your going to be very important to someone. That even if you don't know it your going to become that one special person to someone else, an they are going to need you just like you will need them. Regardless of who you are or what you have done, I will always stand by your side as long as you need me too and well... even if you don't.”

Kate elbowed him playfully in the side as he smiled a very small by sly smile. Kate grabbed at his arm as she got him too his feet and quickly dusted him off.

“Now! Seeming you chose to skip dinner again... I have convinced our lovely house elves in the kitchen to prepare you a late meal so you don't waste away. An this time your going to eat every bite or so help me ill bind you and force feed you.”[/i]

The thought lingered in his mind like a good smelling perfume did, it was a memory of both sadness and joy combined into one. Crixus felt himself sink in the chair as he crossed his arms, he head went sideways as the tendrils of sleep slowly started to invade his body the exhaustion catching up with him. Crixus was suddenly awake as he heard a loud scream right next to him, he sprung to his feet the wand was in his hand almost immediately as his eye's were doing three sixties trying to find the source of the scream. Crixus looked down to see the woman from before laying on the ground trying to move away from him, it was in that moment when she moved slightly to the left that he saw the mark upon her arm, his eye's widened upon seeing it... that was the mark of the mysterious faction they had been trying to locate without any success. The thoughts began to form in his head, things suddenly seemed to start making more sense, her arrival, the Crucio curse, the attack, she was targeted and she escaped... Crixus shook his head realizing all too late that he must have reminded her of the attackers and she was trying to flee him. Placing his wand away he quickly came to her side kneeling down.

[b]"Hey.. Hey! Its okay your safe, your in the hospital wing of the Ministry, I work for the Auror Office, I am the one that found you earlier, your in no danger I assure you please calm down or your going to hurt yourself. Come on you need to get back in bed and rest.[/b]

Crixus bent down to pick her up hoping that she was not going to struggle, at this moment in her weakness she probably couldn't fight him off just yet either way. Hooking one arm under her legs and the other around her shoulders he picked her up from the floor and turned placing her back in the bed. Crixus glanced at the mark on her arm again, it moved silently like something was beneath the skin, there was no doubt it was the mark of forthcoming death. He wanted to let her rest but that mark changed everything, he needed to know what she saw because it was now possible her life was in danger. Looking at her spoke as gently as he could muster under the circumstances.

[b]"Can you tell me what happened to you?"[/b]