[center][h2][color=7FFFD4]Ivana[/color][/h2]
[hr][/center]

Ivana stared at the door, frozen in shock. Was that woman honest to God clapping her hands to wake them up and switching on the light? Her eyes widened, jaw slack, and found herself afraid to move. It was so rude. What in the world? Is this how they woke up people? It caused panic to surge through her. This was so... unfair? She didn't know how else to describe it. Her mind was a blank. She turned to find her roommates moving to get up, one by one.  She watched them and looked around in confusion. They all grabbed a box with their last name written on it and moved off to the showers. Ivana looked at her hands. She had them clenched all night since she hadn't been able to sleep. She didn't feel comfortable showering, not one bit. The amount of discomfort made her skin crawl. Nonetheless, she swung her legs over her bed side and stood up. She shuffled over to the shelf and grabbed her box.  Though she wouldn't shower with others around, she would clean up.

Ivana found an empty area and stared at the showers. Everyone was using it... Oh lord, would they judge her? Like she cared. Ivana didn't are so why should she worry about the others' thoughts? They were all in here to get better from whatever they had. Ivana cleaned herself up, though she didn't shower. She pulled her hair into a bun lazily and exited. She set her box back onto the shelf and followed the others out. Ivana had received a routine schedule upon arrival though she still felt confused. Her joints ached and she felt incredibly cold. She wore warm clothes but it didn't help too much. Everything felt cold to her lately.

A nurse came over and took her blood pressure. Ivana watched her settle the cuff on her arm and looked away. She hated having this procedure done and being here. The feeling of the cuff squeezing her arm always bothered her, too. It also reminded her of being in the doctor's office and hospital. It was a reminder she was sick, and the reason for it. At least, her parents and friends called her sick, but Ivana wasn't sure if that was the right word for it. A cold wave of panic and grief settled over her and she found her breathing becoming irregular. The nurse, noticing the sudden change in blood pressure, began to speak soothingly and rub her arm. Ivana didn't notice: her voice sounded distant. She sank to her knees, clutching her head and breathing rapidly.  It felt like hours, but the nurse managed to calm her and help her up. Ivana remained silent, their soothing voices doing nothing to console her. It didn't seem like anything would... Ellen was gone, and the guilt... Oh God.

The nurse, noticing Ivy's dilated pupils, clammy hands, and hot forehead, moved her over to the scale. This did nothing to console her but induce panic and fear. Was she heavy? Ivy felt it, sure as hell figured she looked it too. She tried to watch her number, but the machine was designed not to let her see it. Ivy buried her head in her hands. The nurse surely thought she was big, didn't she? She glanced at the nurse who remained irritably (to Ivy's distinction, anyway), impassive. While Ivana tried to look over her notes, the nurse tilted the paper way and escorted her outside. Ivana felt tension rising, especially seeing all the other patients. There were so many people here... What were these teens in for? It boggled her mind to see everyone so young and inside a psych facility.

Afterwards, they were called one by one to take their medication. Ivana stiffened. Her name was eventually called. She stumbled upfront weakly and coughed into her arm. She stared at the pill the doctor headed to her and felt dread. She took it in her hands and stared. What would this to do her? She glanced up and met the doctor's gaze. He nodded encouragingly to her and smiled kindly. Ivy narrowed her gaze and stared at the pill. She shook her head and turned away. A nurse looked at her but Ivana kept going to the cafeteria. Her heart rate increased.  She stared at the food and cringed mentally; a boy had exclaimed "Jesus! They're stuffing us!" and Ivana felt pins and needles rub through her body. No way would she stuff herself. Ivana didn't want to be her in the first place. She took food and scowled at the ground as she left the lunch line. She felt horrible inside. Hot, clammy, and shaky; this place was daunting. Ivana glanced around. There was only one table, though primarily full, that had room left. Ivana shakily came over to it and sat down. 

She glanced around: one boy, couple girls, and perhaps a non-gendered person. Ivana decided to label the mas a they instead of a female or male pronoun and sighed. She kept her gaze down on her food and munched on a few eggs. What would Ellen think of her here? Would she be disappointed? Ivana felt a rush of guilt and sadness and took it out on eating instead: she started to pretend she forgot about her food and looked outside instead.  She felt too skittish to greet anyone or speak. They would probably, to her dismay, end up leaving before a friendship could be forged. She sighed loudly and hunched her shoulders.