[quote=Euripides]...The divine ichor of the Herperide's apples was more than any mortal tongue could bear. Eurystheus found their pulp and rind dissolved to ashes amidst his mouth, no glory gained with the loss of their brilliance.[/quote]

[center][b][color=black]Those of you who have completed this task - the brilliance of divinity is both beacon and warning at once. The light they cast is the slayer of reason, and naught but a wary few can bear to behold such glamour safely. You are hereby worthy of bearing the title...[/color][/b][/center]
[center][h3][color=coral][b]Tartessos Blackguard[/b][/color][/h3][/center]

Congratulations to the authors of the following stories:
[b]The Breaking[/b] by [@mdk]
[b]Starbound[/b] by [@PlatinumSkink].
[b]The Dragon Queen[/b] by [@WiseDragonGirl].


Your stories have been added to The Twelve Labours [url=http://www.roleplayerguild.com/posts/3905397]Victory Archives[/url], to which there will be a permanent link in my signature. In addition, your victory has been announced in both the [url=http://www.roleplayerguild.com/posts/3905398]News[/url] and [url=http://www.roleplayerguild.com/posts/3905399]Roleplaying Discussion[/url] Subforums!

Alas, another Labour - and another lost Challenge Accolade. None of the winning entries were deemed worthy of [b][color=coral]Exuvia Moira[/color][/b]. I suppose I shall just put it with the others. Its loss, as promised before, shall be felt more greatly in the Final Hazard.

[hider=RomanAria's Reviews][hider=An Unfulfilled Challenge]
Paging [@Holmishire].

[b]I regret to inform you that you have failed in the eleventh labour.[/b]

Fabulous writing, as always. There is absolutely nothing I can critique you on. Your execution of this story was exquisite as ever – simple, elegant descriptions, graceful yet to-the-point narrative. 

The reason I failed your story was due to the technicality – Dying in an alternate vision, a universe that may or may not actually occur, does not count. I regret that I had to do this, as if your story had passed I would have likely given it an accolade.

Keep your head up. Though this challenge remains unfulfilled, there will be more tests in the future.[/hider]

[hider=The Dragon Queen]
Paging [@WiseDragonGirl].

[b]You have succeeded in the eleventh labour.[/b]

Wow. Okay, I really, really liked that. Like seriously, great job. Wonderful story, a believable – if slightly overdone – protagonist, generally three-dimensional characters. This was very well done for an entry of its rather short length.

Single grammar snaggle – not sure if you’re aware or not but you have a line of dialogue that reads [i]“Like a Fenix, risen from the ashes,”[/i] and I’m used to seeing fenix rendered as phoenix. Though if it was intentional feel free to disregard me. Aside from that, you did very well with the grammar in this entry. Some things, like the fight scene, were perhaps a bit wordy. Even though you went with the omniscient point of view I personally enjoy it when fight scenes have some sense of ambiguity and fuzziness to them as it feels somewhat more realistic. The dialogue may have been a touch out of character in some places but it wasn’t distracting.

Overall – a solid take on the prompt, and a rather well executed one. Chin up, for you have proven yourself a queen among men, WiseDragonGirl.[/hider]

[hider=Starbound]
Paging [@PlatinumSkink].

[b]You have succeeded in the eleventh labour.[/b]

First impression: The dramatic ellipses are killer.

Second impression: Okay yeah that was pretty cool. The overuse of ellipses ever so slightly killed it but… yeah, I like it. Very nice story, quite unique. I’ve never seen a story even remotely like this before. Very interesting plot, though Cathia was definitely over the top – I couldn’t help but cringe every time she spoke. Yes that was sort of the point, it just… I dunno. It was a bit odd. 

Your grammar was quite good. Some of the constructions were a little wordy or a touch choppy but overall a solidly flowing, gracefully written story. 

Overall, a solid story with a solid approach. Good job, Platinum. Keep working on your writing, and you’ll be starbound.[/hider]

[hider=Thomas’s Last Proof]
Paging [@Habibi359]

[b]You have failed in the eleventh labour.[/b]

Well, that was something. I definitely, definitely liked your entry. Such a unique take on the prompt and rather well-executed, at least in terms of setting. A lot of the pseudoscience went a touch over my head but I see what it is that you were attempting to accomplish, and all things considered you did a rather good job of it.

The reason I failed your entry is because of the quality standard – there were too many grammatical issues that detracted from the meaning and therefore it did not uphold the quality standard. I regret needing to do it as it was probably my favorite out of all the entries in terms of context. That said – it’s definitely better than your last English language entry. I would also like to remind you that we accept entries in other languages, so if you are more comfortable writing in another language that is an option, though I’m not sure what the judging policy on that would be – you should ask [@Terminal] about that.

Keep trucking. Eventually you will have a final proof of your writing skill.[/hider]

[hider=The Breaking]
Paging [@mdk].

[b]You have succeeded in the eleventh labour.[/b]

Wow. That was. Wow. I um. I don’t usually like westerns but that um. That made me cry. I don’t know why that made me cry, maybe because it’s 2am and my caffeine and sugar is finally wearing off, but. Wow. I like it. A lot. I had too many doubts about it at the beginning, so I’m afraid you do not get a Challenge Accolade this time, but it’s very close for me. If anyone in this pool would have gotten it, it would have likely been you. 

As far as form goes – again, wow. The dialect wasn’t overdone, all the characters were remarkably three dimensional for such a short narrative. The bits of narrative following the stallion’s perspective were an especially nice touch. Also, the conclusion was just… as I said, tearjerking. And I’m sure the significance will fully settle on me once I go to sleep and I’ll wake up with a serious case of… pajama logic? Um. Yeah no that sounded better in my head. I’m sorry, I’m sleep-deprived and emotional from reading this entry. Definitely glad I saved it for the end.

Seriously though, fabulous job as always, MDK. May your spirit never be broken.[/hider][/hider][hider=Terminal's Reviews][hider=The Breaking]I see you and your Eldritch Master are back on speaking terms. The story had a nearly flawless composition. I continue to be impressed by how you managed to render the cattle-rustling Western genre actually engaging. Your entry was the closest to winning the challenge accolade - perhaps next time.

I give to you the same advice that I gave you after you wrote the postman entry - [b]The subject material you have chosen to use is clearly beneath your exemplary skill.[/b] While astounding as usual, the subject matter of the story itself is relatively underwhelming.[/hider][hider=Thomas' Last Proof]While I wanted to pass this entry, the simple fact of the matter is that the various grammatical errors were so commonplace that it was impossible to separate them from the essence of the story itself - and thus the entry does not meet the standard of quality expected by us in good storytelling.

The single biggest consistent flaw with the entry was the absence of certain necessary words where they were needed, particularly simple particles, conjunctions, and a few prepositions. This is particularly noticeable around your nouns, since the necessary structure that would make them proper is entirely absent. I feel that once you have mastered their usage, the rest of the issues with your writing should improve markedly.[/hider][hider=Starbound]This is the first entry I have received from you in a while where I actually had to go faintly out of my way to identify grammatical errors of any kind, so congratulations - keep doing whatever you did for this entry, because it is clearly working. The two issues of note with your entry are as follows:

Firstly, your exposition comes across as forced and stilted - the effect is most prominent right at the beginning when everyone is being introduced, but is present throughout. There are more natural and fluid ways to explain critical details than by turning your characters into poorly articulated expositional faucets, so work on more natural narrative structuring.

Secondly, while the grammatical errors in your story are much improved, your overall structuring of sentences and paragraphs still comes across as faintly awkward in places. Not incorrect, just inefficiently assembled - which ties in with the first point above somewhat. Hopefully by working on the one area you should be able to kill two birds with one stone.

As for the story itself, I was greatly impressed by your usage of visual descriptions, as well as in the level of care taken in establishing your final act. This was offset faintly in that your took perhaps a little more time than was actually necessary in order to establish your climax, which again, ties into the two issues mentioned above. Overall though, there is much more in this story worthy of praise than not.[/hider][hider=The Dragon Queen]In terms of the challenge criteria, this entry came the closest to what I actually wanted to see. The overall theme, the nature of your chosen character, and the execution of the actual Labour itself are all on-point. There are few grammatical errors, none of which significantly affect the story's overall quality, and the characters are each distinct and interesting.

My largest issue with your entry is with the events that transpire upon the Dragon Queen's death. The discussion between the remaining party and the dragon Leera, the use of the Phoenix Egg, the 'Raise her to be a real girl!' segue - all feel largely superfluous. The pressure in the rest of the story has entirely flagged by that point and there is not much vested reason to care about the proceedings. My advice to you is to therefore work on scene elaboration, so that each individual part of your stories is engaging and adds more overall than it detracts.[/hider][hider=An Unfulfilled Challenge]Getting a little meta with the title there. The simple fact of the matter is that Ariana did not actually, technically die in the actual material sense. If you wanted to convey that her death in her vision was sufficient, you had the burden of proof in establishing that her forseen death met the challenge criteria.

Other than that, there is really not much to say about this entry. Typically flawless makeup, but too short to really merit deeper commentary. I will say that I liked how much peripheral information and smaller details you worked into the setting with such a small amount of text, but overall this entry is simply beneath your skill.[/hider][/hider]