Jakki Dafne sat close to the window, in the middle row. Close to the kids who didn't care, and just far away from those that she could maintain her aloofness and no one would notice. She stared out the window, watching the trees and water outside. She'd have to replace the flowers soon, when she last checked they were starting to wilt.

She'd never told anyone, but less than a year ago her father passed away. It wasn't like they cared anyway. All they wanted was her to laugh, smile, and smooth things over for them. She enjoyed it, but it just felt like she was missing something important. Her conversations were all pretty one-sided and meaningless with those people who hung around her. [i]Dad would know what to do.[/i] While the thought made her feel more miserable on this already long day, her blank and vacant expression didn't change. She looked as though the weight of the world settled on her shoulders, but most times people would see a smile and a goofy joke before they saw this. Worrying about this wasn't something would help her in the long run. She needed to relax and take a deep breath. [i]"Just let those feelings wash away."[/i] with that, Jak smiled again, a small change but her demeanor shifted. [i]Thanks, Dad.[/i]

The smile brightened her grey eyes from their stormy and thoughtful presence to something like a rain shower with the sun out. It was going to be okay, even if you were soaked to the bone and shivering, the rain just washed out the dirt and the sun cleared away the water. Jak shifted a little and a rebellious strand of black hair moved into her vision. Quickly undoing her bun and redoing it, anything that had escaped from the rigid way she tied her hair back was smoothed back into obedience. It was so natural to move it all back now, even though she hadn't really bothered cutting it in so long that it all grown out so much that it drifted into her vision on a regular basis.

She slipped into watching the leaves, how they danced on the branches. She needed to study their movement, she needed to focus more on what mattered. She needed to practice extra hard today. Her skills were slipping, the juniors almost knocked her out the other day. That wasn't supposed to happen. Maybe if she shifted her weight quicker or maybe if she adopted a new style...

She yanked herself from that train of thought as she remembered it was still class time and this wasn't getting her anywhere right now.

Mom wouldn't like her failing this class too, not when she studied and her test scores were so much better than her homework scores. She had to pay attention, even if she didn't want to right now. It was just so... mundane though. Day in, day out. It was routine to just show up, practice, and go home to study. It was all a little easy. Just shut up and pay attention.

Yet... it still felt off. There was a hole in her family. Her dad exuberantly welcoming her home was absent, and her mom's usual joy in cooking had gone away. Did people really change like that when someone close died? They just closed themselves off and pretended to be fine? It didn't seem like a good coping mechanism, but then again, she felt better when she didn't think about it too. Maybe that was how Mom coped.

Jak relaxed back in her chair and watched the teacher drift across the front of the room, explaining what they were supposed to learn.