The less artsy fartsy you are with your writing, the easier it is to read. I'm not sure I'd use anything from classic literature in an RP, regardless of how much I love Alice in wonderland. <3

I very seldom narrate my characters thoughts, usually because the other participants are narrating thoughts like mad and the scenes are more dramatic when you only get to read one side of the story at a time. But when I do, I'm less likely to write:

[i]"I bet I could jump to that ledge over there"[/i]

and more likely to write:

She thought about jumping to the ledge. (or he, w/e)