Marta felt herself sinking deeper into her current state of depression. It felt like she was drowning, and she didn't know how to fix it. Was it really only a month ago that Marta lived her life filled with rainbows and sunshine? How had so much changed so quickly? And when she felt Ezra answer, she knew why, and suddenly everything felt worth it. It was a hard journey, and it has left Marta more defeated and exhausted than she has eve been, but looking into Ezra's eyes made it all better. Her life with him may not be the picture-perfect life she had, but it was so much better. It was real. Marta has lived more, and experienced more in the past month than she ever would have if she continued living in her parent's homes. The bubble her mother kept her in has been popped, and now Marta was just learning everything. It was like she was an infant walking for the first time. Marta has experienced emotions she never knew existed until she met Ezra. 

When Ezra mentioned asking for her hand one day, the tighten in her chest returned, and the tears came harder. But she let him pull her to him, and she returned the kisses as much as she could. Her chest quaked as she tried to keep the sobs from escaping her lips. She closed her eyes, trying to ignore her thoughts and just letting Ezra's touch and kisses sooth her. And they did; she eventually stopped crying, and felt her muscles loosen. Only Ezra could have this effect on her. 

When Ezra pulled back, Marta who was sitting up and using her arm to support herself on the other side of Ezra's body, looked down at him. He wanted to make her smile again, and just hearing him say that made her smiled, it was soft and small, but it was genuine. She reached up, brushing his hair out of his eyes. He needed a hair-cut, perhaps Marta could attempt, but she would be too nervous to mess it up. 

"Ezra you help me without even knowing" she said softly, reaching down and fiddling with his necklace. It was back where it belonged. "You have given me life. I didn't know what living was until I met you. Has it been tough? Of course. I am experiencing things and emotions I didn't know plausible.... When you speak of marriage, my heart swells, but I..." She took a deep breath, she would not cry again.

"Your mother has told me your Rabbi will not convert me... I cannot become Jewish, which means we will never get to marry. I don't want to just pretend, but if it is all that I can get, I will take it. I can't imagine my life without you."