[quote=@Ashevelendar]
[@Gareth] I swear I like your character ! I mean it ! He looks great. Exactly what I would've liked to see when it came to the Kil'garen. They are afraid of the Empire and know better than to ignore their wishes. 

" 
Predisposition to the Magi:Razer is indifferent to the Magi, they are strangers to him as personally he has never gotten to know them that well. Probably because even while he was at Varillo, the magi, that may or may not have been there, didn't give away that they were magi. Those possible magi, definitely feared execution, imprisonment, whatever other cruel punishments there were for them.  "

I don't like that part tho'. I probably didn't explained in OCC but I'll do it in IC for the others.

So...the moment a mage is born he starts to "leak" magical energy. The Empire has machines that detect any kind of magical energy ( no matter how small ) and immediately send Templar to catch mages. So...hiding Magi are a no-no. Also , the moment a Mage is caught and brought to the Citadel some blood is taken from him. That blood serves as a "tracking" device ( A phylactery is a vessel, often a glass vial, containing the essence of a magical being. The Templar use small phylacteries filled with blood—taken from a Magi to track down any Mage that somehow escapes ) so there are no hiding Magi. You are either caught and brought to the Citadel or you are killed on the spot.

Modify the part with hiding Magi ( etc ) and it's ok.


Also. Kil'garen themselves joined the Warrior Guild when the Magi War started but they've been able to retain their neutral status rather than be absorbed in by the promises of " protection and prosperity " like the other races. 


Edit : Put your CS in a hider , please :) 
[/quote]

Thank you very much. :)  I edited the part about the Predisposition to the Magi, saying that basically Razer is indifferent to them because he has never met one.  

(For the history edit I thought I'd mention how I want to edit it 'before' I edit it. Because the history has so many paragraphs and that way its easier to see what exactly I did.)

As for the warrior guild and the Kil'Garen being a part of it, what if I edit it saying, 'that Razer's parents knew why the Empire took Razer away, for Warrior Guild Recruitment, but Razer and the Warrior who took him away were not told this.  Razer wasn't told this by his parents because he was too young.  And the warrior who took him away wasn't told because he 'doesn't need to know.'  

(I'll be honest, I'm trying to edit this way, because I think its easier for me than swapping up a bunch of the history! xD) 

Note:I have a doctor's appointment and then work, so I'll be gone the rest of the day.  :(