“Jane?” a feminine voice came from the other side of the curtain. “Jane, you go on in thirty.” 

Jane took a deep breath, rolled over, and slid the curtain open slowly to see Lyla’s face. “Thanks,” she whispered as she forced a smile, but smiling was the last thing Jane felt like doing. Well, next to performing tonight. The fact that they had worked so hard to get to this point – touring around the world – and now it was a chore to do it was a joke in itself. It was sad, really, that all Jane wanted to do now was to just go back to Long Beach and forget it all ever happened. 

That would be too good to be true.

“Hey, Lyla?” Jane called out as her head popped out from the bunk. “Is Rob here?” 

“No,” Lyla shook her head. “He’s already inside.” 

Jane nodded then dropped down to the cold floor of the bus, quickly sliding jeans up under the large shirt she was wearing. She usually didn’t care much what she looked like, but tonight, that was especially true, so Jane opted to put on one of Rob’s large hoodies on instead of trying to be more presentable. After tying the laces to her boots, she walked to the fridge and grabbed a beer, then plopped down on the couch. 

“You’re drinking?” Lyla asked with a concerned tone.

“What’s it matter?” Jane said, not meaning to sound as rude as it did.

Lyla shrugged then exited the bus, leaving Jane alone to gather what energy she could before she had to give it all away to the strangers in the audience. She unlocked her phone, and an unread text from Andy appeared at the top of the screen.

[i]Andy, 8:32 PM:[/i] [b]Hey babe. Been thinking about you all day, then I heard this song. It reminds me of you.[/b]

Jane debated on whether or not to click the link that he sent. She was already emotional. But, it was a nice sentiment, so her finger tapped the screen, and it redirected to [url=https://youtu.be/uLaJkbkG5NI]Molly’s Chamber by Kings of Leon[/url]

She smiled. Jane knew the lyrics all too well.

[i]”Free, that's all that she could bleed
That's why she'll never stay
White, bare naked in the night
And lookin' for some play
Just another girl that wants to rule the world
Any time or place
And when she gets into your head
You know she's there to stay”[/i]

Jane’s thumbs hovered over her phone until she decided what to send him back. Did she want to tell him everything through text message? No. But, her chances of seeing him ever again were growing slimmer and slimmer as the days passed. 

[i]Jane, 8:45 PM:[/i] [b]Hey. I have to talk to you about something. Can I call you in the morning?[/b]

After hitting ‘send,’ she walked back to her bunk and threw the phone up before heading over to the venue. Constantly checking her phone to see if he replied would not do anyone any good, so it was best to just forget about it for now. 

Jane walked by the table where Rob had left the merch to sign, and she quickly scribbled a sloppy ‘Jane Molloy’ onto all the items before heading towards the craft table for another drink and to have a cigarette before the show. Austin approached her from behind and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“What’s going on with you, J?” he asked quietly with furrowed brows. “You’ve been off lately.” 

Jane squeezed her eyes shut. She didn’t want to lie to Austin, especially when he had been such ag ood friend to her, so she grabbed his arm and pulled him further away from the group. “Uh, Rob ended things with me after the meeting today.”

Austin’s eyes widened. “Are you serious? Jesus, I’m gonna talk to – “ 

“No,” Jane whispered sharply. “Don’t say anything. [i]Please.[/i] I’ll deal with it later. Has, uh, has he been acting weird?” 

“I don’t know, man,” Austin scratched his head. “I haven’t really seen much of him.”

Jane nodded before he kissed her forehead, and she mouthed a ‘thanks’ as he walked away. Her heart had been breaking since earlier than day, and even the kindness Austin showed her was not making her feel any better. She lit her cigarette and stood alone as far away from everyone as she could untilt hey got word that it was time to get on stage. Jane took a deep breath and walked up the stairs to be greeted by the crowd hollering at her. She waved sheepishly and walked up to the mic stand, adjusting its height much lower so that it was a comfortable distance from her mouth. 

“How’s everyone doing tonight, huh?” she asked weakly. 

The crowd, of course, “woo-ed” in response. 

“Alright, let’s get this shit started.” 

[center]*****[/center]

Jane had powered through nearly the entire set, although much less energetic than normal. She had said something to the crowd about feeling ill as an excuse, to which they all seemed to be satisfied with. The intro to the single began, and Jane took the microphone off the stand and announced: “This is gonna be our last one for the night. Thanks for being awesome.” 

Her voice came in, raspy from the five other songs performed, but as she sang, she began to feel tears come to her eyes. [i]No, no, no. Not now. Not now.[/i] Her eyes shut to keep them from flooding, but that caused a single tear to roll down her face, and the sleeve of Rob’s hoodie quickly went to wipe it. Her throat began to tighten, but she continued to sing the lines to the best of her ability as more tears began to stream down her cheeks. It was now uncontrollable at this point, but she couldn’t work up the courage to look back at Rob, or even to Austin or Sam. It was embarrassing.
 
As Sam played a riff during a break in lyrics, Jane spoke on the microphone as she sat down at the front of the stage. “I need your help for this last verse okay, guys?” 

The crowd gathered closely to her as Jane held the mic out, and on cue, all of them began to sing the song word for word. It gave Jane the chills to hear people singing her own, personal thoughts, and it was a helpful distraction from the pain she was feeling. But soon enough, the song ended, and Jane thanked them before dashing off the stage and exiting the venue. As soon as she hit the cool air, she began to sob, sinking down to her knees on the wet pavement and covering her face with shaking hands.

It almost felt as if someone had died; the emotions she was feeling was similar to when her mother passed. She was grieving the loss of her best friend and her love of her life. It all seemed so dramatic – and hopefully being pregnant was a large contributor – but Jane couldn’t help but feel completely torn to shreds over everything. 

Soon, Lyla and Austin exited the venue to find Jane, and they both lifted her off the ground and quickly escorted her back to the bus and helped her up to her bunk. She didn’t bother undressing, but instead just pulled the blanket over herself after whispering a weak “thank you.” 

Austin and Lyla looked to each other, nodded, then went their separate ways on the bus. The only noise Jane could hear was her own sniffling, which she tried to cover up by putting the comforter over her face. She was so mentally and physically exhausted, and all she wanted was to lay on Rob’s chest and fall asleep there peacefully. Now, she couldn’t even do that. Would Jane even be able to continue the tour with him so close to her, but without being able to be [i]with[/i] him? Eventually, Jane succumbed to her exhaustion and fell asleep, still tightly wrapped under the blanket, with the hopefully thought that tomorrow couldn’t be any worse.