Heart. I adored these books in junior high.

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[b]What's your name?:[/b] ... Are you a cop?... Fine, it's Jason Bertrand.

[b]How old are you?: [/b]16

[b]What do you look like?:[/b] My mom says I look like my dad. He was really lanky too. I have the same wiry hair, the same green eyes. We're both tall and skinny. But I only know that because its what mom says. I have a nose piercing. It's kind of symbolic. Bulls wear them, beasts of burden, and this is sort of like, being a beast of burden to the world. I put all of myself into my projects. I don't really expect others to do for me. My gramma would be rolling in her grave if I did. She used to talk about karma and being a good person rather than worrying about what religion is right, and that if you're good you'll be find no matter who's right. I like the simplicity in that.

[b]Do you have any hobbies? Please feel free to discuss them here:[/b] I collect vinyl, I like to listen to music. I have a lot of records that belonged to my gramma and my mom when she was younger. When Gramma died I got her record player and her collection. That was something I always liked doing when I'd stay at her house while mom worked: she'd put music on most of the time. I like going to concerts. Sometimes I can get into the 18+ shows, it's the facial hair. I can grow a beard if I want to. Hasn't helped me buy beer yet, though. It's not worth the beard itch yet, so I tend to shave it off every so often. I like mosh pits. I also like driving fast. I bought a 2008 Mazda 3, it's not the best car, and the paint is peeling, but I could afford it. It has a nav system in the dash, which is cool, and it's black. I'd really like a Dodge Challenger but I needed something I could get for like 5 grand.

[b]Any dislikes?:[/b] Traffic tickets. Being asked what college I want to go to. I also don't like to see people acting like jerks. There's enough of that, and I've got this one friend that can go a bit overboard on the aggression, Iikka, and I have to kind of reign him back a bit. I try to keep him out of juvie. Cops will really arrest you for doing stupid shit, you know? I see them coming to the trailer park pretty often, there's a few repeat offenders. One guy kept hitting his wife, and he's been arrested like three times. She looks like a mess now. So, like, I hate guys like that, and I don't want to see Iikka turn out that way.

[b]Tell me, what are your goals for the future? Both immediate and long-term.:[/b] I might look into a trade school. Maybe welding. The job market really favors trades, not business degrees. Don't listen to the machine at school, college is for suckers. Right now I work at the hardware store on Main. They give me a discount on stuff, so I've been building up my tool collection at home, and I started getting into making furniture. It's not complicated stuff, but I made the shelves in the living room, and my bed frame. I'm making an iron work headboard for mom for her birthday, it's in the shop at school. I think its important to learn a lot of practical skills. Everyone thinks they're going to grow up and get a white collar job with a computer or something. The world doesn't work that way; things still have to be fabricated and crafted.

[b]What's your home life like? Specifically, what is your relationship like with your parents?:[/b] I haven't seen my dad since I was in pre-school. My mom is a really controlling woman. I'm ready to move out. She drinks too much and thinks she's still 20 or something. I love her but she's maddening. It's just kind of frustrating because she's hung over a lot, and I feel like I have to check on her all the time and make sure she's ok. Actually, once I move out one day, I'll probably still be checking on her all the time...

[b]Siblings?:[/b] I have an older half brother but I don't really know him. Mom and his mom aren't really friends and they stopped trying to keep my brother and I in touch when I was in like, sixth grade. He's Dad's "real" kid. So, screw all of them. It's fucked up to have a kid and act like he doesn't exist, right? Because he's always been like that. I think Dad was already married to his wife when I was born, so its not like he would have gotten together with my mom, and they all used to be friends until I came along and I guess I'm what ruined all that.

[b]What's your favorite animal, and why?:[/b] That's a weird question... I guess a phoenix, because they rise from the ashes. I'd like to think that's my spirit animal, like native Americans talk about. Because no matter how far down I am coming from, I am going to rise. But you probably want real animals. Um... hawks are cool, there's a hawk living in the woods behind our trailer and I saw it swoop down and grab this rat, it was so tight! The rat never saw it coming!

[b]Favorite color?:[/b] Teal. It's not blue, and it's not green. Take that, society!

[b]You wake up late one night to discover that your house is burning down. What do you do?:[/b] Grab my two vinyl crates and get the hell out. I've got collector-worthy shit in there. Then I'd go around and break my mom's window and get her out. The bulk of the trailer is between our two rooms, I could get out my window and go around. If there was a fire, it'd be coming from near the front door. It's laid out like, Mom's room and bathroom, kitchen, living room, my bathroom and my room.

[b]Finally, a tricky one; which came first, the chicken or the egg?:[/b] The amoeba. We had single celled organisms that reproduced by dividing long before we had egg-layers.