Green: So it looks like a good start, but there are a few things I have to nitpick on. First off and this is the big one, Earth was destroyed 500 years ago so you can't really grow up in LA. (Its in the races thing I'm not just making this up). But you can adapt your story to elsewhere and still work with it. Secondly The legion isn't just a you sign up kind of deal, its is due to your performance in the field that you get an invite. Now I don't think a gang war would be enough to draw their full attention, maybe give it a little peak, and time in prison doesn't exactly count as work experience and even if he had been under watch after four years frankly they wouldn't care anymore as you stated saying he lost his street cred. And a year of fighting off a gang on your own is a bit impressive and enough to get you back on the radar, but it is lacking that moment, that spark that would merit a recruitment. Maybe if you added in something at the end that would secure you a place. You know just one thing that makes the legion go alright we want him.

Other than that he looks good, also you win brownie points for using James. Also my Fiance is from El Salvador so that also wins you random brownie points.
just saying