Ezra allowed her to hit him. He felt her anger with each blow and he refused to fight back. Her words cut into him like a knife and he refused to look at her any longer. He glanced over his shoulder to Isiah and Atalia who had walked away from them to try and salvage whatever time they had together, but still keeping in distance in case Ezra or Marta lost it completely.  He listened to her breathing until it became steady and lighter. After a moment he closed his eyes wondering what he should do. Did he treat her like one of the guys or did he just let her berate him until he could no longer stand the sight of her face. He could feel Isiah watching him closely even though Atalia kept telling him to give them privacy. 

He began to open his mouth to speak, but no words found their way out and it was clear to everyone the internal struggle he was going through. He had to be this way or he would fail his comrades, but if he kept it up he would fail himself and Marta. He stood there a moment more before opening his eyes to stare into hers. They were filled with fire, and it was his fault she felt the need to resort to violence. 

Finally without anymore hesitation he gave in to her. His hands pulled her and his arms wrapped around her frame. He was feeling her for the first time in months. He nudged her head up with his own and kissed her fiercely. Every emotion he felt was being poured into her with that kiss. All the sadness and anger he had. His lips parted hers and his tongue danced around her mouth as his hands found their way into her hair, knotting his fingers together as he held her close. His body began to tremble and tears started to fall, but he refused to let her go. He needed her more than he allowed himself to believe, and having her here now fighting to break his walls down made his body feel weak. He brought them both to their knees only breaking for small gasps of air and he could hear a sigh of relief come from Isiah as he finally turned his attention to Atalia.

When Ezra finally let go of Marta he leaned his body down so that his head was at her knees and he let himself cry over all the loss he had suffered including himself. His arms wrapped around her waist and he refused to let go. She was his lifeline at that moment and he feared any minute now Jeremiah would rip him from her and he would fall to pieces.

“I’m trying so hard, Marta. I’m trying to be a man you can love and be proud of. Someone you can count on and believe in, but I just keep failing,” he sobbed as he brought his head up to look at her, “I keep seeing Oscar forcing you watch me die and him hitting you and I am just defenseless. I keep seeing my mother smiling at me or giving me a look of disapproval and I know I will never see her face again. I keep losing everyone I love and you’re here right now, but in a few hours I will be leaving and I will be back in that house fighting for a life that I no longer want to live to see anymore.” 

He could hardly make out her face anymore through the sea of tears falling from his eyes. His body kept tensing up with each word and he began to struggle to breath. He reached for the pendant around his neck and held onto it tightly trying to find comfort, but failing miserably. He reached for her hand and brought it to his chest so that she could feel his heart beating.

“I just want to keep you safe, Marta. I want to look in your eyes and know I am not a failure. I need to know that I am not going through this for nothing. That you still love me even if I can’t love myself,” he whispered leaning his forehead against hers. “You are all I have left. I don’t know when I will see my father again. I will never see my mother again. You are my only life. I love you more than you realize. I wish we had run away from all of this when we had the chance. I wish I had married you before all of this and I wish I had taken you from this life of pain before it consumed me.”

He finally stopped crying, but he refused to move away from her. He gave her a small smile wanting nothing more than to kiss her again.