[quote=@Sep]
Any criticism offered on the post that has taken more of my life than any I have ever done before, is welcome.
[/quote]

You know when you're in a game, and your DM is a great writer, and you try to pick up these little pieces of plot building or description tools from him to take your own game to the next level, and then he's like, "Oh, have a post that blows your face off" and you're like "Dude I thought you were human".

So yea, this.