[i][color=silver][b]The Story So Far...[/b]

Barnaby was a man with sleeping problems who had an excess of coffee and and clothing. He dreamed and dreamed, and one day found a job: a hit job. Accepting the job from his cheapskate uncle, he ventured into the world with a sword to take down a man named Mustermann, delayed a short time by a few bloody cops looking to see his sword license. He was offered a prize for his sword by a shadowy figure, an effort rewarded by his being cleaved in half and turning into a badass sword that was cursed with the inability to drink hot liquids Barnaby wouldn't bother drinking in the first place.

He went after Mustermann's cellar, to be intercepted by dogs, cats, and pretty fucking weird imps that turned out to be an illusion. He was instead met with cultists from the cult of Harambe, resulting in his discovery of a thing he had no idea existed called Twitter so he could tweet with an unnatural skill and-

Wake up the next morning to his own words of "Get this shit out of my spam" before discovering he was in a mental asylum surrounded by mysterious voices preparing to sacrifice him to... Harambe, the unjustness of which he raved against before realizing the existence of the Fourth Wall, or rather, its destruction, which threw his universe so out of order he lost faith in all existence and began to see the true reality, confronted with the strange visual of... was it.... a-[/color][/i]

Huge pink fluffy dog that pinned him down to a soft white bed while seemingly ripping his face off with a scratchy, almost cat like tongue.