Also, think about what Big Boss told Cody. Your character really reminds me of Batman right now, from [i]Dark Knight Rises[/i]. Here's a discussion on the impulse of fear of death, and the philosophy and logic of it. 

http://movies.stackexchange.com/questions/12371/is-the-fear-of-death-the-most-powerful-impulse-of-the-spirit-for-batman

[quote]
[i]Blind Prisoner: You do not fear death. You think this makes you strong. It makes you weak.
Bruce Wayne:    Why?
Blind Prisoner: How can you move faster than possible, fight longer than possible 
                without the most powerful impulse of the spirit: the fear of death.
Bruce Wayne:    I do fear death. I fear dying in here, while my city burns, 
                and there's no one there to save it.
Blind Prisoner: Then make the climb.
Bruce Wayne:    How?
Blind Prisoner: As the child did. Without the rope. Then fear will find you again.[/i]
[/quote]